Justin, PLEASE Don’t Pull A Garth Brooks!

Oh, Snarkista just had a BAD flashback. In 1999, country singer Garth Brooks created an alter-ego character named “Chris Gaines”. Garth changed his look when he was being “Chris”, and even released an album as his other self. It was welcomed like a turd in a punchbowl.

Now, Justin Timberlake has agreed to star in the latest campaign for the clothing company he co-owns with best friend Trace Ayala, William Rast. Justin apparently never wanted to be the face of his clothing line, but the label’s higher-ups have finally convinced him.

Here’s the dicey part: Justin changed his mind after he was given the idea of playing a fictional character who is named after the brand. Women’s Wear Daily quotes creative director Johan Lindeberg as saying,

“We came up with this idea for him to play a role as this guy named William Rast. So it isn’t meant to be Justin, it’s Justin playing a role, as an actor. When we explained the idea, he instantly loved it and got really into building the profile of this character.

Justin’s also gonna play the William Rast character in a series of short Net movies entitled “My Name Is William Rast”, viewable at williamrastmovie.com later this month. The movies show William Rast as a rebel who runs from the police with his lady friend, Birdie. The two, who wear head-to-toe William Rast, apparently have committed some mysterious crime. The movies will include some steamy scenes between the two as well.

Justin! Snarkista is BEGGING you not to lose yourself to your character! When Garth did it, his career took an instant nosedive that it NEVER recovered from. His sanity was (rightly) questioned! Come on, my little sexyback. Don’t let those label suits lure you in too far. They can be GREEDY little shizzbags.
Just keep chanting, my name is Justin…my name is Justin…my name is Justin!

Justin Timberlake’s Granny Has His Wedding All Planned

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have been dating since January of last year, and Justin’s reportedly started searching out potential wedding venues…especially some of the world’s most exclusive and private islands. However, it seems his beloved grandmother, Sadie Bomar, has other ideas.

The Sun reports she has the wedding plans in full swing, and has already chosen the spot! Gramma Sadie says Justin and Jessica should get married, at the earliest opportunity, in his mom Lynn’s backyard! Gramma apparently doesn’t care for the “private island” wedding idea. She says:

I just want them to be happy. Justin should get married in Lynn’s back yard in Tennessee. She has a big yard with beautiful flowers. I think it would be perfect.

Gramma Sadie also likes Jessica, and says she’s very sweet, is his age, and isn’t possessive. (Take THAT Cameron Diaz! Ouch!) Yep, Sadie wasn’t a big Cameron fan. She did NOT like the cougar-aspect of their relationship due to their 8 year age gap.

A source close to the Timberlake family says that Justin started talking about marriage earlier this year. His family is delighted and started planning his big day. They’re not sure how much he knows about it, though! Justin and Jessica have TRIED to keep their romance private, but were very much together for a rare public outing at a club opening this weekend.

Justin may have to cave in to his beloved Granny and mom, ‘cuz it sounds like the two of them have his wedding plans all wrapped up. We’ll just have to wait and see what Jessica thinks!

Kathy Griffin Un-Banned From The Tonight Show!

Kathy Griffin is one of Snarkista’s guilty pleasures, because Kathy’s the ULTIMATE Snark! Her D-list celeb status makes her the PERFECT chick to take down those higher on the star ladder. Because she has NO fear, and no one’s off limits for her wicked rants, she’s been banned from nearly every talk show around. A and B-list celebrities are the bread and butter of the talk show circuit, so it was easier for producers to ban Kathy so the more famous wouldn’t get pissed. Until yesterday.

Someone must have bailed on Jay Leno last night OR he wised up to her awesomeness, ‘cuz she got some prime-time on The Tonight Show, with 2 segments! This is segment 2, where Kathy talks about Justin Timberlake, Paris Hilton, her dream of going to a fancy celebrity rehab, hoarding and… her mom! Kathy’s hilarious.

Is Madonna Calling It Quits?

British site Holy Moly is reporting that Madge has hired take-no-prisoners attorney Nicholas Mostyn QC to help her out of her marriage to Guy Ritchie. Mostyn is the guy who helped Heather Mills lighten Paul McCartney’s wallet, and is apparently quite the brute. Maybe Madonna’s deluded herself into thinking Justin Timberlake has the hots for her!

Rumor has it there’s NO PRENUP! I call bullshit on that, cuz Madge is definitely in love with her money more than anything. She’s way to shrewd to screw up on that! If she doesn’t have one, Guy has mad hypnotic powers. Guy and Madge have “grown apart”; Guy wants to focus on movies and has gotten scared by Madonna’s freaky pumped-up arms.

Forbes says Madge earned over $70 million last year. Lock the safe!! We’ll see if Guy can find his own big gun to duke it out for the money.