“It’s hard to be married to somebody for 10 years and try to say I, ‘No, I don’t love them anymore.’ It doesn’t work really well,” Kate Gosselin said in the TLC special. “I love the memories that we have together.” Gosselin admits she still wakes up “every day and I think the phone will ring and it’ll be… the old Jon.”

Kate Gosselin spent a good portion of the interview expressing her distaste for becoming a tabloid headline and being constantly hounded by the paparazzi. “In the last nine, 10 months, it’s gotten real crazy, and I can’t seem to get away from it. I just want peace for my kids.”

Yet, when Morales suggests dropping out of the spotlight might help her find that peace, Kate Gosselin responds: “At this point, I can’t go back… If I said I was done and it was enough, it would just be five more covers of why it is that I’m done, and so I would be living that for a period of time essentially with no income, with no job.”

>> Previously: Jon Gosselin Apologizes to Kate Gosselin for Affairs