Star magazine admits Katie Holmes is not an addict

If you’re a tabloid, you’d better be careful about your fact-checking, and even more careful about baseless insinuations.  That’s the lesson the Star gossip magazine learned recently after having to settle a $50 million defamation lawsuit with Katie Holmes, after they strongly implied that Holmes wanted to leave Tom Cruise, but couldn’t because of a drug addiction.

In the most recent issue of Star, the editors issued a formal apology to Holmes, adding that they would make a significant donation to a charity in her name as a way to make amends.  Katie, ever gracious, has accepted the apology, and added that she was glad they resolved the matter amicably.

Katie Holmes ‘Kills’ With So You Think You Can Dance Judy Garland Tribute

Actress Katie Holmes killed on last night’s So You Think You Can Dance with a tribute performance to Judy Garland – but not in a good way. The dance stylings of Mrs. Tom Cruise on So You Think You Can Dance were so torturous, it’s amazing live audience members didn’t keel over from sheer horror.

The appearance of Katie Holmes on Thursday night’s So You Think You Can Dance was much touted by the show as part of its 100th episode celebration. Holmes is one birthday clown, however, that I doubt anyone will be eager to book again. Holmes agreed to do the gig partially in support of the Dizzy Feet Foundation – a charity she co-created to support and increase access to dance education in the U.S. Well, Holmes certainly did have ‘dizzy feet’ last night, but frankly I doubt the charity wanted her to represent them quite so literally – or lamely.

Seriously, if you have not yet seen this bit of footage, be prepared to throw up in your mouth a little bit. That anyone could so horribly slaughter a tribute to the most fabulous Judy Garland is nearly reprehensible. I’m sure Judy was probably up in heaven simultaneously attempting to cover both eyes and ears. I know I was.

At least the bit was pre-recorded. I shudder to think what kind of insanity might have happened had Holmes been forced to attempt this debacle live.

Oh, and Katie – next time. Please, please wear some pants. Talk about needing some eyeball bleach…

Katie Holmes Looking Horrible…Maybe It’s The New Flick…


Good grief, Katie Holmes is looking even more tired than usual these days. Tired and haggard and stalked. Stalked by her ever-present Scientology handlers, Kate was snapped attempting to play with lil’ bot Suri during a break from shooting her new horror flick “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.”

Katie has way more shizz to be afraid of than the stupid dark! THETANS AND TOMMY GIRL, just to name a couple. Lord, the poor thing has aged 20 years since she hooked up with the former Top Gun.

Somebody please save Katie. People save the whales, you know…but it would take a Mission Impossible operation to rescue Katie from the clutches of Xenu. She’s shooting her movie in Australia- that’s where those “Whale Wars” Sea Shepherds are…couldn’t they throw some of their stinky bombs at her zombie jailers? If not, can’t someone at LEAST call her parents?!

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Katie Holmes Is About To Go Nuts

katie holmes made this
Imprisoned starlet Katie Holmes is rumored to be in danger of cracking up over hubby Tom Cruise’s pressure for her to have another Sci-bot. Their little Suri– princess of the universe- is OVER Katie’s pretending to be a designer so she can get out of the basement and share Suri’s craft room. Katie’s Scientology jailers minders and Overlord Tommy himself have pumped Katie’s head full of thetanphobia, and ensure she is rarely alone. But don’t call it a cult!

Britain’s Now magazine reports:

Tom’s desire to have another baby has put a strain on 30-year-old Katie — who is struggling with feelings of inadequacy thanks to Cruise’s constant scrutiny, according to a report in British magazine Now.

“Suri had her third birthday on 18 April and it was clear at her ‘princess party’ how much Tom adores her,” a source told the publication.

“But he hoped she’d have a brother or sister by now. They agreed to try as soon as Katie finished her Broadway play in January, but it hasn’t happened.

“Tom’s control, through Scientology, has been almost unbearable for Katie. But the more she’s fought it, the tougher he gets. Never having any space to herself is stressful for her.”

Following the April 12 death of her brother-in-law, Katie had been getting closer to her parents again and went back home to Ohio for the funeral.

“It seemed like a good time to reach out to them,” the insider said. “She’s feeling the strain of being under the watchful eye of the Scientologists and wanted to build bridges again.”

John Duignan, a member of the cult for 20 years who knows people in Tom’s entourage, explains,

“If she’s under pressure to provide another child, they’ll use very powerful mind-control techniques to help Tom get what he wants. Katie had been in New York, talking to real people and then she was back in the world of Scientology.

“She could crack up. There are lots of suicides among Scientologists — it’s psychologically very damaging. At least she’s been exposed to outside influences. But it’s difficult to escape, especially with a child.”

It will take a Mission Impossible style operation to extract poor Katie and Suri from the clutches of the madman and L. Ron Hubbard’s brainwashers. Scientology kills. Google it.

Crimes Against Fashion: Katie Holmes, Edition NO.

Katie Holmes popped out of Aladdin’s lamp the other night, escaping to the Independent Filmmaker Project’s annual in NYC. Katie can surprise with some whack outfits, including some unfortunate self-creations. Is this Jen Aniston meets “I Dream Of Jeanie” another one? No matter who made it, it’s classic K-bot.

Kate zips us back to the 70’s…in a shiny shiny jumpsuit that may be something Mimi Rogers left with Tommy-girl years ago. Those tent pants could hide a Suri clone or even a spare E-meter. And the goldwashed accessories just scream “original Charlie’s Angels meets Claire’s.” Ditto for the bag. Someone PLEASE distract Katie from foraging any further into fashion design and execution. She’s used to people telling her what to do, so a little effort should do the trick. Use the Scientology rundown if you have to. Stylist!

Katie Holmes To Fix Her Looks By Poisoning Herself

Reportedly, dumbass Katie Holmes is teetering on the brink of TOTAL physical and mental disintegration. “But she’s brainwashed, Snarkista! Don’t blame poor Katie!” Ah, but either Katie didn’t do her homework on crazy Tom Cruise before they hooked up, or she just couldn’t resist his mad powers.

Australia’s NW magazine details how much Katie’s looks have declined in the last 2 years, and the side-by-side comparison ain’t pretty. Two years ago she was all bright eyes, rosy cheeks and 100-watt smiles after marrying Tom, the top clown of public exuberance. Now a “sad and sullen individual”, Holmes “sports sunken cheeks and dark circles under her lifeless eyes and seems barely able to lift her head, let alone crack a smile as she wanders around New York by herself.”

NW says the slide for Katiebot really picked up when Tommy-girl made her chop her hair short. She cried and cried. And then he wouldn’t let her look nice or talk to other men or go anywhere without a security guard spying on her. She did gather all the strength she had left to throw a great big bronze statue at a wall in Tommy’s office, and he had to get builders in to fix the damage. Katie surely spent some dungeon-time as punishment for that one!

But what to do about the haggard looks? Wise up and escape? Hell, no. Katie’s gonna fix the problem Scientology-style! She will be putting herself through the cult’s “purification rundown detox“, where one spends way too much time in the sauna and ingests dangerous amounts of Niacin, which will ruin your liver. THAT will make ya look better, Katie! Yellow skin just SCREAMS “young and healthy.” Sigh. You made your bed…