Crimes Against Fashion: Katie Holmes Edition

Katie Holmes stepped out again in NYC with daughter Suri, wearing some HEINOUS looking leggings. As you know all too well, Snarkista loathes leggings. Especially ones that look like they’re made from a cheap pleather couch! Katie is a tall girl, yet manages to stumpify herself incredibly in THIS getup. When will they learn? Leggings are the devil’s garment!

Katie Holmes Has A Mystery “Mister X”

Katie Holmes has been hanging out between her Broadway All My Sons duties with a handsome mystery man. The cast and crew call him “Mister X”. And the “X” doesn’t stand for Xenu! Katie seems to have somehow escaped the death grip of Tommy, and has found time to chill with a normal male person.

A crew member went over one day, while Katie and “X” were having coffee. They chatted for a few minutes, but Katie didn’t introduce her friend. And “a friend” is what Katie is calling him, (duh, she’s not stupid) but he’s still causing whispers around the theater. Ya know? Katie needs a normal male friend. She hasn’t had one of those in YEARS. Here’s to “Mister X” for being brave enough to risk the wrath of Xenu and his minions, and give Katie some decent company. Bravo!

Save Pink!

CRAP! The effin’ Scientologists are trying to snatch Pink into the Xenu fold. Pink! Think! Pink’s BFF Juliette Lewis (yes, the fashion trainwreck and sometime-rocker) has reportedly recruited Pink into the fellowship of the thetan-fearers. Juliette thinks holding some soup cans will help Pink get over the breakdown of her marriage to Carey Hart. UK’s Entertainment-wise says:

“Pink is in the beginning stages of checking out the religion, but she has taken to it and she wants to get more involved.”

Come ON Pink! You’re the thinking-woman’s rocker! Run!! Seriously, do you wanna end up like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and John Travolta? Or looking like Juliette…even though she’s your best friend? We don’t want a Pinkbot! It will cost you a FORTUNE! Flee Xenu! Save Pink!

Katie Holmes Is Responsible For This

Snarkista was all set to blame Tom Cruise for this unfortunate getup Katie Holmes foisted on us at the Tropic Thunder premiere. It has since come to light that Katie HERSELF designed this fuggery, and even has plans for more! Is Posh-envy behind this new inclination to design? In all fairness, Katie may have taken the navy duct tape Tommy-Girl uses to keep her from running away, recycled it, and made her own statement about bondage. Screw wearing your jeans, Tom!

Won’t Someone PLEASE Help Katie Holmes?

Okay, Snarkista’s throwing a flag. This is just too much for her to take. Tommy-Girl Cruise has taken his evil abduction of Katie Holmes TOO FAR! Not that it wasn’t already too far, but this is all kinds of crazy. He took over her haircut, and now he’s making her wear his jeans. From 1987. WTF? Somebody help Katie. Even if it’s you, evil stylist Rachel Zoe. Chupacabra-style is better than this. Snarkista needs to lie down for a bit ‘cuz she has the vapors.

Tom Cruise And Scientology Sued For Millions

Alien Dictator Tom Cruise is named in a $250 million federal lawsuit that’s using the RICO statute against the Church of Scientology. Ex-Scientologist Peter Letterese, a longtime critic of the church, filed suit in Southern District Court in Florida on July 15 alleging, among other things, that members of the church harassed him after he left.

Scientologists have virtually taken over the town of Clearwater, Florida, much to the chagrin of longtime residents. There are MANY documented instances of harassment against escapees… ranging from public disclosure of personal information, death threats, and, some claim, ordering and carrying out hits on former Sci-bots. Peter better hire some serious beef to keep his ass safe. Xenu’s minions don’t play.

In court papers provided to The New York Daily News by well-known celeb investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer’s wife answered, said he was her husband’s homosexual lover.

Barresi, who has done investigative work on behalf of Cruise, tells us: “[Letterese] is just including a celebrity name to get attention.”

Letterese calls the church a “crime syndicate” and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families. RICO has been broadened from it’s original mission as a tool to nab mobsters.

Tom Cruise, who’s made no secret of his religion, is named in the lawsuit which says that Scientology head David Miscavage is “aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars.”

One of Letterese’s issues is that the church uses a business book, “Effective Sales Closing Techniques,” as part of its teachings. He says this violates his intellectual property rights, since he bought the rights to the book from the widow of author Leslie Dane. Cruise’s lawyer, Bert Fields has not commented on the suit.

Karin Pouw, spokesbot for the Church of Scientology, naturally says: “This is a frivolous suit based on falsehoods.” Well, the issue about Tom being a tool for the cult is well-documented… Gawker has the famed video Cruise made that’s used as fodder to keep the deluded on the brainwashing “auditing” track that makes the cult zillions of dollars.

This ain’t gonna help Tommy-Girl. The suits behind the movie “Salt” who dropped Cruise from the lead role are probably singing praises to God right now, and the “Valkyrie” team are probably up in the Xanax. Snarkista’s told you before that Tom has become box office poison, and whether or not this suit goes anywhere, the press is not gonna help change the public’s view of Tom. Will Smith better jiggy on out of there fast, although Jada’s a Xenu girl now…and it may be too late for him.

Tom Cruise: Box Office Poison

Tom Cruise isn’t going to be playing the role of Edwin A. Salt, a fictional CIA officer who is outed as a spy. Fox 411 reports that the production, “Edwin A. Salt,” from Columbia Pictures, has been a huge, expensive headache.

Now Tom is out, and apparently it’s about the money. Tommy still thinks he’s a “Top Gun” in Hollywood. He used to be the highest-paid star, but he’s not commanding a $20 million salary like he did in the past. A studio source says:

The reasons for Cruise’s departure are not just his diminished popularity, negative public opinion and Scientology — although those would be good enough. It’s also just generational. Cruise is 45. His heyday as a box office star — if he ever had one — is over. Like past huge leading action stars such as Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cruise must face the brutal facts of aging. Ironically, he’s been replaced by Will Smith, whom Cruise has courted for Scientology.

Yep, Tommy’s officially a cougar now, and a lot of people aren’t real keen spending their money or time on Mr. Couch! Cruise’s upcoming release, “Valkyrie,” is due next February. It isn’t going to help Tommy’s image to play a Nazi, although it may have been a breeze for him to get into character. Just ask Katie!

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