Last night on American Idol, Kelly Clarkson and Kanye West were the guest musical performers. Kanye sucked as usual, and will be PISSED if he reads this. Look for some ALL CAPS posts from Sir West shortly.

As for Kelly, she looked like she might be in the family way on the Idol stage, even though she told Ryan Seacrest she was single AND available. Kelly’s weight has always yo-yo’d.

The net has been buzzing about the rumor… which is probably not what her label had in mind when Kelly performed her new single “My Life Would Suck Without You” from her new album.

Kelly Clarkson On American Idol 3 11 09

Kelly dodged Ryan’s questions about who the song was written about, but obviously Kelly is pining over someone. Kelly would probably blab if she WAS preggers, as she DID reveal to Blender magazine her bizarre belief that everyone is guilty of peeing in the shower, and anyone who denies urinating during their bathing ritual is “lying”. Kelly also analyzes her snot for illness.

This means Kelly pees in the shower, and would make someone an earthy bride. So, there’s that. Pregnant women DO go all the time, but the snot thing is just crazy. A bit Too Much Information, Kelly.