Heidi And Spencer Get Married (Again)

Those crazy famewhores lovebirds Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got married again on Saturday. They first “eloped” to Mexico months ago because photo ops had been slow. Apparently, that marriage wasn’t quite legal, and Heidi’s mother had a stroke. She knows the mad, brainwashing power that Spencer has over Heidi…although with Heidi’s brain, this is not a difficult undertaking.

E! reports that the Hills duo were joined at Westminster Presbyterian Church, attended by over 200 of their closest friends, family, and lots of their best celeb pals, including the insufferable Perez Hilton, music producer David Foster, along with Hills costars Brody Jenner, Frankie Delgado, Taylor Mosher, Audrina Patridge, Justin Bobby, Lo Bosworth and Laguna Beach alum Kristin Cavallari. Even frenemy Lauren Conrad had a change of heart and attended the festivities, but made a quick exit from the church following the ceremony.

The wedding party was comprised of Heidi’s sister and sometimes Hills star Holly Montag, as well as Spencer’s always-instigating sis, Stephanie Pratt, both dressed in matching floor-length, yellow, silk chiffon gowns, while the Spencer was joined by the incredible…two nonceleb friends.

Montard was decked out head to toe in nearly $1 million worth of Neil Lane jewels and a gorgeous, flowy, white, strapless gown, custom designed by Monique Lhuiller. Pratt and his groomsmen all wore Ermenegildo Zegna suits. Heidi’s father walked her down the aisle following Pratt’s niece Ava, the flower girl.

Afterward guests gathered outside Westminster Presbyterian to toss yellow rose petals on the newlyweds, who did what always comes naturally to Speidi- playing it up and kissing for the crowd. Heidi then gathered her girlfriends to toss the bouquet, only to have Cavallari, rumored to be replacing Lauren Conrad on The Hills next season, jump up and make the catch.

The office pool is now open on how long this one’s gonna last, and, more importantly…how many staged photo-ops will be raining down on the media from the wedding! Good times.

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt’s Drunken Marriage

US magazine already bought and published pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s fake, illegal romantic marriage in Mexico. Last night’s episode of “The Hills”, however, highlighted the true ickyness of the whole debacle.

Scuzzy Spencer flew Montard to Cabo San Lucas, got her drunk on tequila and rushed her to a church. The next morning she could sort of remember how drunk she was but couldn’t remember the ceremony at ALL. No wonder her mom is pissed! It was the marital equivalent of a date rape drugging.

Spencer has always tried to take Heidi away from “bad influences”, namely her mother, his sister, her ex-best friend, basically the entire world, because they all know the truth… Spencer is the douchiest person on earth. He’s the worst person she could possibly marry.

The episode showed the couple in Mexico, by themselves, (except for the camera crew and production team) so they could have their own wedding alone. “It’s our secret marriage,” Spencer told her (and everyone watching at home.)

The teaser for next week’s finale shows the idiots having to go to a U.S. courthouse to actually GET a marriage license, and face the anger of Heidi’s mother, whom Spencer further infuriates by calling her “mom.” It may be tempting to pity Heidi, but she’s willingly been under Spencer’s spell despite everyone in her universe telling her what a massive mistake he is. Fame, it seems, is more important than good sense. Snarkista gives the marriage a year, unless Spencer knocks Heidi up. If that happens, there won’t be a divorce until the tabloid checks are cashed!

Watch Hills Speidi clip in Celebrity Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Britney Spears Is Hittin’ This?

Britney Spears reportedly has another new boyfriend, according to the Post-Chronicle, and his name is Sean Fox, (a.k.a. Sean Zastoupil). Sean apparently had an overnight recently with Britney. He’s a dancer, model, actor and now maybe flavor of the day, who used to date Lauren Conrad of “The Hills”! Crap. LC’s gonna throw a hissy now, and it shouldn’t take Spencer Pratt long to try and insert his doucheass into the fray.

Depending upon whom you believe, Britney’s been rumored to be dating bodyguards and hotel magnates as well, OR has been celibate for 6 months. Britney’s REAL flavor of FOREVER is captured in the pic above from OK magazine. It’s Snarkista’s FAVE of all time, it has captured Brit in her natural habitat…with Cheetos. That OK photographer deserves a freakin’ Pulitzer.

Back to the flavor of the day…here’s the latest supposed boy-toy Sean, in an obviously home-made yet extremely earnest and serious “dance and modeling” video. Sean sounds like Michael Jackson, and the jam box in the shots really ups his street cred, don’t ya think? Pose on, baby.

The Hills: MTV’s Sneak Peak

MTV’s released the trailer for “The Hills”. Snarkista isn’t sure if it is clips of plotlines that will really be developed- or the best parts of the season crammed into one trailer. Last season was pretty much a snoozer, and the hint here that the insufferable Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt may break up is just ridiculous! Those two are worth way more together than they are apart, and they aren’t through riding the money train yet. There will be WAY more posed pics and heinous songs from Heidi to endure before the douche-duo parts ways. Also, to Snarkista’s dismay, Spencer seems to be growing something on his face.

Victoria Beckham and Lauren Conrad: Designing Fakers

Lauren Conrad and Victoria Beckham now have something in common: they were both kicked out of Hollywood’s hottest boutique.

Earlier this year, Kitson owner Fraser Ross announced that he was dropping Vic’s dVb style collection because of lame sales and Posh’s refusal to make a promotional appearance. Now Lauren’s self-named collection of overpriced Targetstyle has suffered a similar fate, with Kitson’s press release that her lack of involvement has led to a lack of sales.

When the collection first came out it did really well because of all the hype surrounding it,” a Kitson rep has said. “But her people were never able to set a date for her to come to the store and as a result it didn’t sell.”

Lauren’s rep fired back that her collection has exceeded expectations and is in more than 500 stores, including Bloomingdale’s, Nordstrom, and Fred Segal. The rep also attempted damage control over rumors that Conrad isn’t the genius behind the brand that she claims to be.

Lauren designs the line from start to finish, doing everything from sketching to fabric selection to fitting the garments

When she’s not partying. However, a few key fashion insiders say that LC is more the “celebrity face” behind her label and that her Creative Director Sherry Wood (the designer for former fashion label Tart) is pretty much responsible for all those boring, girly garments.

Apparently, the majority of celebs with a fashion line have such crazy schedules that they do a bit of the work and front the collection, and Conrad is “no different.” Lauren was also reportedly heard telling pals at a Hollywood club recently that she “can’t even draw a sketch” after being asked for some advice from an aspiring fashion designer. Genius! LC’s too dumb to even keep her mouth shut!

LC apparently does drop by the sweatshop apparel mart where the clothes are made.“She generally stays for an hour or so when she comes,” an employee in the mart said. Anyone who has seen Posh and Lauren’s “collections” would give them at best a yawn, and then a YIKES at the pricetags! Girls, please. Lauren’s dresses all look like sacks, and Snarkista wouldn’t be caught dead with “DVB” on her ass.

Lauren Conrad Out-Bitches The Bitches

Last night, designers and celeb dog owners got together in NYC for the 2008 Paws for Style event, benefiting the NY Humane Society. “The Hills” star-turned-designer Lauren Conrad was scheduled to walk the runway, but backed out at the last minute, refusing to go onstage!

LC arrived WITHOUT a dog, but apparently borrowed one so she wouldn’t look like a dumbass walking the press line before the show. She gave interviews, and natch posed on the red carpet, then completely SPAZZED.

Some in attendance spotted her crying backstage. Maybe Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were on the front row sticking their tongues out. OR, maybe it has something to do with retailer Kitson dropping her clothing line! Doesn’t matter. The MC of the show, obviously NOT a fan of Lauren’s, told the audience…

“Those reality stars can be such temperamental bitches.”

No joke. LC was reportedly paid $20,000 to show up and walk the runway at the event. All of it was paid for by the Humane Society. Classy! It’s one thing to get paid by a club to show up and hang out, and it’s another thing to rip off a charity.
Wendy Diamond, the editor in chief of Animal Fair said:

100 percent of the proceeds from Paws For Style go to the Humane Society of New York, we do not take a penny. If anyone would like to help make up for this costly mishap, please call the Humane Society of New York at (212) 752-4842 or visit their website: http://www.humanesocietyny.org/.

It sucks to have to pick up LC’s tab! As an animal lover, however, Snarkista’s gonna toss a few bucks their way. Here’s hoping Miss Conrad will return the 20K she OBVIOUSLY owes the society. Maybe they can cancel the check.

photo credit: WENN