Obama, McCain, Biden, Palin…so many choices it makes the brain hurt! Add to the mix the major fuckery going on in ALL of our largest financial institutions- Hurricanes Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and OWWWW!!!
Give yourself a break and hop onto a cause with some meat in it. And I mean a HUNK of meat. Specifically, the hunk of meat named Levi Johnston, former happy-go-lucky Alaskan redneck, literally plucked out of obscurity into the limelight of Election 2008. All for knocking up Bristol Palin. Cheezus.
American ingenuity always comes through in a crisis, and many feel the need to FREE LEVI from a shotgun wedding is a cause they can genuinely get behind. Therefore, cottage industry! Cafepress has all you need to help free Levi, tell Levi to RUN, or just have something to put in your yard ‘cuz you can’t decide on a candidate! Better than Excedrin! Now if we could just FREE THE DEFICIT! It’s about to get a HELL of a lot bigger. Happy Retirement!!
UPDATE-UPDATE: Definitely sic Sarah on them, John. It is all bullshizz. UPDATE: Screw suing the National Enquirer, John. Just unleash Sarah Barracuda on their asses! She’ll tear ’em a new one with a smile on her face. What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Lipstick.
The National Enquirer hit the web just hours before Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin‘s hotly anticipated speech tonight with some salacious statements. Supposedly, the print issue of the rag has more dirt on Palin. The Enquirer’s teaser says:
â€œThe National Enquirerâ€™s coverage of a vicious war within Sarah Palinâ€™s extended family includes several newsworthy revelations, including the resulting incredible charge of an affair plus details of family strife when the Governorâ€™s daughter revealed her pregnancy. Following our John Edwardsâ€™ exclusives, our political reporting has obviously proven to be more detail-oriented than the McCain campaignâ€™s vetting process. Despite the McCain campâ€™s attempts to control press coverage they find unfavorable, The Enquirer will continue to pursue news on both sides of the political spectrum.â€
The tabloid seems to be going full force into political expose, after being emboldened by the final fall of John Edwards. McCain is livid, and after four other magazines hit the stands today with Palin on the cover, he’s had enough. McCain has now threatened to sue the National Enquirer.
The campaign had this to say:
â€œThe smearing of the Palin family must end. The allegations contained on the cover of the National Enquirer insinuating that Gov. Palin had an extramarital affair are categorically false. It is a vicious lie,â€ said McCain senior adviser Steve Schmidt. â€œThe efforts of the media and tabloids to destroy this fine and accomplished public servant are a disgrace. The American people will reject it.â€
The whole thing is a freakin’ feeding frenzy, and unless the Enquirer has some ironclad evidence, they’re gonna burn through any credibility they earned by outing John Edwards in his extramarital affair. The Palin family has been through a trial by fire this week, and Snarkista thinks that Ms. Tougher In Alaska is NOT gonna forget who was throwing chum at the sharks. Maybe give it a rest for a few days? Before some fool prints that Palin’s a guy? Geez.
Since VP nominee Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law Levi Johnston has now been thrust into the limelight, AND since his Myspace has been scrubbed squeaky clean (except for the “I don’t want kids”, pronouncement and the stupid profile pic), Snarkista wanted to point out that Levi is pretty damn hot. So hot some are calling him “sex on skates”! Levi’s on his way to the Republican National Convention right now…and it will be all the papz can DO to restrain themselves once he gets there. Meaning they probably won’t.
He’s a bit of a hellraiser, a hockey stud, a self-described redneck, and has a criminal record from poaching salmon. Beats a DUI! Oh, and “dont f*** ” with him. No effin’ here, Levi! You’re the best looking scandal-maker around, and you beat the HELL out of John Edwards and Rielle Hunter. Happy shotgun!