Getting ‘Jacked By Lindsay Lohan Is Scary

Snarkista knows there’s a lot that’s scary about Lindsay Lohan. Y’all KNOW not to get her started about Lindsay’s heinous line of leggings! But even leggings pale in comparison to getting carjacked by the freckled one. Lindsay’s getting sued for an incident in 2007, back when she was publicly up in the sauce a LOT. And wearing leggings EVERY DAY. (Sorry.)

LiLo was pretty hammered at a Malibu party, and then decided to take off in a vehicle with Ronnie Blake, Dante Nigro and Jakon Sutter inside. And it wasn’t Lindsay’s car.

During the party, Lindsay had an argument with her THEN assistant Taryn Graham. Taryn promptly QUIT being Lindsay’s assistant and stormed off to leave. Upon seeing this, Fishbelly jumped into Dante’s white GMC Denali to chase her down. Brilliant. Lindsay hauled ass down the Pacific Coast Highway to Taryn Graham’s house, careened around L.A. some more, and finally ended up at the Santa Monica Police Department. Lindsay forgot she had a wee bit of cocaine in her pants pocket…and promptly got booked.

No surprise, the dudes who got ‘jacked filed suit. In the suit filed Oct. 14 in Los Angeles Superior Court, the three guys say that Lindsay was OBVIOUSLY intoxicated, and that they begged her to stop driving at such high speeds, because she was endangering their lives in a MAJOR way. Not only did she ignore their pleas, but they say she was hostile, said she didn’t “care about the risk of death,” she ran through several stop signs and red lights, and even ran over Blake’s foot when he gathered up enough courage to JUMP OUT OF THE CAR.

Lindsay also pulled the “star card”, and threatened the guys saying “she knew people who could mess up their lives if they told anyone about” the incident and that “she could get away with it because she was a celebrity she could do whatever she wants.”
Such a lovely girl. Probably talking about her boxing-fool daddy.

So here’s what the dudes are suing for:

“unspecified compensatory and punitive damages for negligence, assault, battery, false imprisonment (in the SUV), intentional infliction of emotional distress, conversion and trespass to chattels (both referring to Nigro only for the use of his vehicle) and slander (Sutter only for Lohan claiming to police that he had driven the vehicle).

Wow. Whatever “trespass to chattels” is, it sounds pretty grave. You know they’re going for the gold with the “intentional infliction of emotional distress.” Lindsay was a walking infliction of emotional distress around that time, which is why she had to drop by the rehab. Good luck, traumatized dudes, you definitely have a great-sounding case. Lindsay, however, doesn’t have the kind of coin she used to have…she snorted a lot of it away. Y’all better hope SOMEBODY buys those God-awful leggings. Gak.