Madonna And Guy May Announce Divorce Today

UPDATE: It’s official. Madonna’s beleaguered rep Liz Rozenberg announced that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing after 7 1/2 years together. In a statement co-signed by Ritchie’s representative and e-mailed to The Associated Press, Liz says the couple had not agreed to a settlement yet. US Magazine is ALSO reporting that Madonna and Alex Rodriguez are “definitely romantic”. Shocker.

Snarkista told you back in June that Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage was on the rocks, and that a divorce announcement wouldn’t come until near or after the end of her Sticky and Sweet tour. The Sun and The New York Post are both saying today that Madonna and Guy will divorce, and that a statement has been prepared. The announcement could come today.

Krazy Kabbalah apparently failed to save their troubled marriage failed and they have decided to call it quits. The divorce may proceed through the British courts as Madonna and Guy primarily live in England. It will surely involve a multi-million dollar settlement. Things have reportedly become so tense she couldn’t wait until the end of her tour, and wants the split to be done with by Christmas. Good luck with THAT, ye old money factory. (Maybe Madonna’s hoping Alex Rodriguez willl show up in her stocking.) The Times Online says Madonna should reconsider filing in England, however:

Madonna may think twice about filing for divorce in England, as a string of high profile have settlements won London the reputation of being the divorce capital of the world – for the poorer partner in a marriage. “New York might be a better place in terms of what she might have to pay out,” said Elizabeth Baghurst, associate at Boodle Hatfield in Oxford. “For someone like Madonna, who is very wealthy, the UK is not at the present time thought to be a good place to have your divorce, as the payouts are big. “She would have to meet the residency requirements to fall under New York jurisdiction, but she has a home there (a £2m apartment overlooking Central Park).”

Guy Richie tellingly failed to show up for the premiere of Filth and Wisdom, a comedy that was directed by his wife. (Bomb.) The couple have three children, Lourdes Leon, 12, Madonna’s daughter with former personal trainer Carlos Leon, their son Rocco Ritchie, 8, and adopted son David Banda, 2.

Guy probably got tired of being punched up and down by Madonna’s freaky pumped-up arms and being threatened by her handgun shoes.

Cover Crimes: Madonna Edition

Oh, where to start. Fug, fuggity, FUG!! Madonna looks like a matador collided with Bugs Bunny in a 9-year-old’s party dress. GHASTLY! Major Photoshop going on here; the party dress looks pasted on as an evil after-joke, and Madge’s freaky-pumped arms are WAY toned down. Madonna says “turning 50 is all about an excuse for a party”…Snarkista’s terrified about what kind she’s dressed for.

Women and Home is a UK mag; the title sounds like those cheapie housewife rags at the grocery checkout. Menopause IS an appropriate subject for Vadge to have slapped near her ass. Snarkista doubts, however, that she “loves men because they do stupid things”. Madonna EATS men who do stupid things. This rag’s not Vogue, that’s for sure!

First she gets Britney to film the nasty with her for the big screen, then she wrecks A-Rod’s marriage, and now she’s scaring the shizz out of housewives. Madonna’s taking her “Sticky and Sweet” world-domination attempt a bit far, no?

photo credit: knockedupcelebs’ taylorblue

Madonna’s Not Going For That Re-Wedding To Guy

Madonna’s poor beleaguered publicist Liz Rosenberg has denied reports that Madge and husband Guy Ritchie are planning to renew their wedding vows. Duh! Those two are gonna split up right after her “Sticky and Sweet” money machine winds down this winter!

An article in British tabloid The Sun suggested the couple will remarry in a Kabbalah ceremony next month (Aug08), which will coincide with Madonna’s 50th birthday celebrations. But the singer’s longtime (and long-suffering) publicist Liz insists the story is bogus.

She says, “It’s complete fiction.” Yep. Just like brother Christopher Ciccone’s “self-authored” book! Seems like there’s quite a bit of fiction going on with Madonna these days. But hey, press is press, right Vadge?