Madonna’s fashion sense embarrasses her daughter

We may be well-accustomed to seeing Madonna’s bits and pieces hanging out everywhere, since she’s been doing it for three decades, but poor 14-year Lourdes, Madonna’s daughter, is getting to that age where seeing her mother’s parts on display is nothing but embarrassing.  Mother and daughter attended the Vanity Fair Oscar party, where Madonna wore an outfit that amounted to little more than a skimpy leotard and some fishnets, with a bit of transparent lace thrown in for good measure.

There was little left to the imagination, and as Madonna turned around and showed her partially bare rear end to eager photographers, Lourdes was heard complaining loudly and telling her mother to act like an adult. I don’t think that message will ever get through – Madonna will continue to dress however she wants until she finally drops dead of exhaustion, which probably won’t happen anytime in the next couple of decades at the very least.

Madonna’s stalker claims it’s not a crime to adore her with sharp weapons

Yesterday a stalker was picked up by police outside Madonna’s home in Manhattan.  The man, a retired firefighter named Robert Linhart, had a seven-inch ice pick on his person when he was arrested for harassment.  Linhart’s attorney says that adoring Madonna is not a crime, and that there is no evidence to show that Linhart was planning on using the ice pick unlawfully.  Yes, because there are so many legitimate reasons one might need an ice pick when walking down the street.  You never know when you might come across one of those famous Upper West Side sidewalk-icebergs… in September.  In any case, Madonna attended last night’s opening for her daughter’s new Material Girl clothing line, and told reporters that she was not frightened of the stalker or worried about her safety.

Madonna’s Bandage Bondage: Please Just Stop

Obviously, Madonna has NO intention of growing old gracefully. The Ancient One got strapped, wrapped and laced into a crazy getup to promote her album, Hard Candy. Look for this outfit to show up on Britney Spears in the near future.

Madonna’s sporting bandages around her chest and wrists, in an attempt to appear sexy or tough. Girl, you look good for 50, but PLEASE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON. You are embarrassing an entire generation. Surely Lourdes and Rocco are hiding somewhere right now muttering “I hate my mom, I hate my mom…”. Parents are naturally cringe-inducing, Madonna. Don’t make it worse than it already is.

Madonna Looks Pretty Desperate

Here’s 50 year-old Madonna wearing a pair of shoes with handgun heels at the premiere of her “directorial debut” movie Filth and Wisdom. These shoes, designed by Karl Lagerfeld are set to be sold around the world. Snarkista thinks they will be must-have accessories for gang members.

Madge is getting slammed by a UK victims’ group for wearing the fugly shoes. Not because they’re fugly, but because of their message to vulnerable kids.
Lyn Costello, from Mothers Against Murder And Aggression (MAMAA), said:

“I am horrified that Madonna can see these shoes as fashion. As a mother herself I would have thought that she would have paused for a second and thought about all the young people here and in her own country that have died because of gun crime. She should have thought about all the young people that have died because of gun crime. We need the whole of society to take responsibility and action in stopping the glamorization of weapons. Celebrities have a massive part to play and an icon like Madonna should have more sense. It’s uncaring. Surely she reads the news and realizes that young people are dying every day.”

Newsflash: What Madonna considers “fashion” can be QUITE horrifying. It is also becoming increasingly desperate…she co-opted her 11 year-old daughter Lourdes look a few weeks ago during one of her Sticky And Sweet tour performances. Lourdes wears black-rimmed glasses, so Madge figured she’d look hip and younger by wearing them too. Fail. And fail on the fugly gun shoes too.