Reports are flying that unwed teen mom Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again. Further proof that the crazy juice levels in the Kentwood, Louisiana water are off the charts! The National Enquirer broke the news, and quotes a source as saying:
â€œJamie Lynn believed she couldnâ€™t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding,â€ said the close source. â€œSheâ€™d expected to have her period by early September.â€
A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out, said the source. Mom Lynne Spears was apparently livid. Snarkista thinks Lynne hasn’t spent enough time educating Jamie-Lynn about the birds and the bees, amongst MANY other things. Guess she was too busy writing her tell-all book about Britney and Jamie Lynn. 17 year old Jamie Lynn gave birth only 3 months ago to her daughter Maddie Brianne.
â€œJamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical. Neither of them knows what to do, but for now theyâ€™re trying to keep the news from getting out.â€
Er, guess it’s a little too late for that. Womanizer boyfriend Casey Aldridge is Maddie’s daddy, but the Enquirer says it will reveal the father of THIS baby in it’s print issue, which hits the stands today. Great. Look for Jamie Lynn to follow in big sis Britney’s steps and go batshit crazy in a few years. It won’t be pretty when that long blond hair gets shaved off.
Lynne Spears wants everyone to know she was NOT a stage mother to Britney Spears. Not even a little bit. No, no, Lynne’s hands are clean, according to Lynne. Lynne has a book to promote, as you probably know. She says that even when young Britney was a Mouseketeer, that “Britney pushed me.”
Wow. How unusual that a child would make demands of a parent. Sadly, Lynne appears to have caved to Britney at every turn. Quoth Lynne:
It’s been a wild ride for everybody. … She’s out there, she’s with the crowds and with her peer groups, and she’s doing things. … I have sat for hours, thinking about everything that’s happened.”
Sitting. Not doing anything about it, but thinking about it. Helpful! Lynne sat by while Britney shaved her head and went batshit crazy. Fortunately for Britney, her dad has some balls. Jamie Spears DID something while Lynne was sitting and thinking. Jamie’s intervention may have saved Britney’s sanity and her life. She’s still on the road to recovery, but Snarkista is thrilled for Britney’s VMA victories. They surely must have helped her self-esteem.
Here’s Lynne’s interview with Meredith Viera.
As you all know, dear children, Britney Spears’ mama Lynne has written a noble book called Through The Storm. Not just any book, but a piece of tell-all prose that highlights the troubles of being a
child-pimp star mommy. Lynne’s book was all set to hit the stands around the time Britney went batshit crazy, so the release was pushed back to September 16th. More juicy stuff to spill! And spill she does.
Lynne has thrown HERSELF under the bus mom-wise, but hey…Brit-Brit has burned through some major coin lately, and a mom’s gotta have her spa days! Here are just a few nuggets:
Britney started drinking at 13, after she joined The Mickey Mouse Club. Lynne was one of those moms who didn’t really care as long as she was around for the drankin’. Hit me baby one more time…with vodka!
Lynne let Britney date an 18 year old football player when she was 14. Lynne was all for THIS genius idea, ‘cuz she wanted Britney to be popular! Kentwood family values! It was also cool with Lynne for Britney to spend the night with the jockstrap. Shocker when the dude popped Brit-Brit’s cherry! And you fell for that crap about Britney being a virgin when she was 14. Suckers!
When Britney was 16, she got caught with cocaine and pot while trying to board a private plane. By then, she was dating and sleeping with Justin Timberlake. In Britney’s room. ‘Cuz Lynne let them. But Britney was in love, y’all! Come on! A mom’s gotta have a heart! Have YOU ever had to argue with a 16 year old? Lynne rests her case.
Lynne blames Britney’s managers for turning her into a sex symbol at such a tender age. WTF?! Oh, and Lynne is really sad about her baby Jamie Lynn’s early knock-up too. Snarkista told you there is some hellacious crazy-juice in the Kentwood, Louisiana water. Obviously Lynne’s been guzzling that stuff for a LONG time. But go buy the book, y’all! Britney’s got some big doctor bills. And attorney bills. And child support. And…