December 1, 2008

Mary Kate Olsen Preggers? Please!

Some fool at the National Enquirer is trying to get us to believe that lil’ Mary Kate Olsen is pregnant. WHATEVER! Sure, she’s been wearing baggy clothes, but…she always is in the dreaded caftan. That little elf burned up her lady parts when she quit eating years ago, so if she’s knocked up it is […]

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October 30, 2008

Mary Kate And Ashley Under The Influence Of Prunes

Yeah, “prune” is what Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen say (quietly) when posing for pictures. Supposedly it gives them the perfect, snide, partial-smile that says: “We are not to be questioned, we INFLUENCE. Can you not READ?” No, Snarkista did not make that prune part up. It’s a known Olsen fact, their gramma taught it to […]

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September 12, 2008

Mary Kate And Ashley Olsen Are Crappy Neighbors

Mini-terrors Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have their neighbors in their formerly quiet West Village neighborhood upset. Really upset. Seems the girls are “disruptive, intrusive and totally disrespectful”. AND, they’ve created a “military presence” in their hood. A neighbor said “you’d think there was a government operation going on”. Snarkista wonders who would want to […]

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August 7, 2008

Feds Drop Persuit Of Heath Ledger’s Drug Death & Mary-Kate Olsen

Federal Prosecutors have decided NOT to pursue official charges into the death of Heath Ledger. The Feds decided not to pursue a criminal case into how he obtained the powerful painkillers that contributed to his overdose death this year, a law enforcement official said Wednesday. Prosecutors in the U.S. attorney’s office in Manhattan had been […]

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August 5, 2008

Snark Sightings

Sugarland Kicks Miley Cyrus In The Ass: Contact Music Wonky Strikes Back: Seriously? OMG! Stalker Aniston Can’t Take A Joke: Showbiz Spy Michael Lohan’s Not Down With A 2-Bride Wedding: Backseat Cuddler Which politicians are REALLY most like Paris Hilton? Indecision ’08 Hollywoods Top-Paid Tweens: Forbes Tips On How To Score At The Store: The […]

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August 4, 2008

Mary-Kate Olsen Wants Immunity In Heath’s Death Probe

Mary-Kate Olsen has refused to be interviewed by federal investigators probing the accidental drug death of her “close friend” Heath Ledger unless she receives immunity from prosecution. The NY Post is reporting that the actress’ lawyer has repeatedly refused attempts by the feds to question Olsen, who was the first person called when her masseuse […]

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July 4, 2008

Signs Of The Apocalypse: Paris Hilton Edition

Okay all of you greedy actors, call off your effin’ strike threat RIGHT NOW, because THIS is the kind of shizz that will happen if you don’t. Paris Hilton has an idea. Crap! What FAB timing that bitch has! According to a Paris pal, Wonky got her annual idea watching both Dina Lohan’s and Denise […]

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July 2, 2008

Snark Sightings

Stalker Aniston To Be-Friend The Big Screen? Jossip Spencer Pratt Milking Mary Kate HARD: Fatback Media Rikki Rockett Gets Off: Bumpshack Chris Brown’s Naughty Bits Are Tired: BringinDaNoize Tila Tequila Is DENIED! Mollygood Hottest New Fashion Out Of Texas: Fldsdress Steve-O…Still A Lawsuit Magnet: ICYDK No Pajiba Love For Hancock: Pajiba A-Rod gets DUMPED! Sportsfiends

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