Lindsay Lohan Gets A Job As A Topless Dancer


Times have been getting pretty rough for Lindsay Lohan, who recently got the boot from Samantha Ronson and her wallet. Lindsay hasn’t had a good job in QUITE awhile, and has plowed through a lot of her dough… so “it’s the economy” for Li-Lo too.

Things are looking up for Lindsay’s short-term bottom line, (or black hole of debt, whichever)… because she bagged a gig! Bonus perk? It’s topless dancing!! Reporteth Fox:

Lohan flew from Los Angeles to Las Vegas on Saturday on the private plane of the producer of Mel B. and Kelly Monaco’s “Peepshow” to attend the grand opening of the sexy striptease production, but made the trip more importantly because she had a meeting scheduled with director and Broadway big-wig, Jerry Mitchell.

“Peepshow” is designed to have rotating leads and according to very close inside sources, Lohan is in official negotiations to take over from Monaco who wants to move on and get back to work on “General Hospital,” however Mel B. reportedly intends to stay on once her three-month contract is finished.

She even gushed to Mel B about how much she loved the provocative production and how much she trusts Mitchell to direct her in an on-stage striptease.

“If they make me an offer, and the money’s right, I’ll do it,” Lohan reportedly said.

Lindsay Lohan + Las Vegas x 24hr a day booze= look out, Nevada, whackout coming. This will look SO great on her resume!

Crimes Against Fashion: Mel B (Scary Spice) Edition

WOAH. Melanie Brown, they didn’t call you Scary Spice for nothing. What the fug are you wearing???! Guess the recession’s even hurting sci-fi costume designers, because the ingredients here cost about $6.99. Don’t think about getting NEAR Natalie Portman in this crap. She’d look down her nose on you anyways, but why give her more ammo? You’d get voted off the starship in a nanosecond. And why is that black snake curled up on your head?

The security dude behind you looks like he just got sucker-punched. The people behind the barricade are LAUGHING or in mid-WHA?, except for the lady with her eyes closed. She’s been blinded by the glare from the cheap satin. Lets see if this getup gets better when you pose WITH someone.

Wow. No it does not. Even though you managed to find the guy in the ugliest jacket, he comes out the winner in this pairing. He is thanking GOD you came along last night, so that the coat made from his daughter’s old Christmas dress isn’t getting any press. Much.