Lindsay Lohan chooses rehab, surprise surprise

After the drama over the weekend with no bail, and then bail after all, and then her third SCRAM alcohol-detection bracelet, it appears Lindsay Lohan has now chosen to go into a substance rehab program of her own free will.  Although just about everyone welcomes this news, the timing may suggest that the decision was not entirely about Lohan’s concern for her own well-being, and may have more to do with a tactical move to help her court case.

According to Lindsay’s father, Michael Lohan, he has been encouraging his daughter to check into a facility voluntarily – not particularly for the purpose of recovery from her addictions, but rather to impress the judge in her probation revocation hearing that she’s serious about turning her life around.  It seems that if Lindsay does actually get better in rehab, that’ll just be a welcome side effect, a happy accident.  The main goal seems to be to keep her out of jail so that hopefully she can get back to work and start paying off her growing mountain of legal costs.

Lindsay Lohan claims she’s a work in progress

After this latest round of failed drug tests that are keeping her from doing any real work, part-time actress and full-time party girl Lindsay Lohan has said that she can’t be blamed because addiction is a disease that she struggles with, and she is a work in progress.  Predictably, her father Michael Lohan says that none of this ever would have happened if he had been allowed full access to Lindsay when she was growing up.

While I would agree in principle that addiction is certainly a disease, I cannot buy Lohan’s claims that she’s trying her best, when the exact same night that she admitted on Twitter that she failed a drugs test, she went out with her friends to a Hollywood restaurant, and several diners and restaurant staff reported that she was seen sipping out of her friends’ vodka-based drinks and giggling as if no one would catch on to what she was doing.  She may be a work in progress, but exactly which direction she’s progressing is up for debate.

Lindsay Lohan Fired from Movie, Assaults Ex-Girlfriend

Lindsay Lohan is out of control and it’s getting so bad, we’re actually starting to agree with her father Michael Lohan that she needs a major intervention! Just days after Lohan was questioned by police over the alleged theft of a $35,000 Rolex watch, the young actress has been fired from an upcoming movie role and allegedly assaulted her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

Lindsay Lohan mug shot (Source: LAPD)
Lindsay Lohan mug shot (Source: LAPD)

Now that’s some serious Lindsanity!

The Other Side writer/director David Michaels says Lindsay Lohan was fired from the film because the film team “simply chose to move on” to a different actress. TMZ.com, however, reports a source connected to the film said Lohan was not “bankable” and investors didn’t feel they could rely on her.

That’s only the tip of the Lohan madness iceberg this week though. This past weekend, Lindsay Lohan reportedly assaulted her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson at a club in Los Angeles when she threw a glass at her head.

Ronson was reportedly Dj-ing at the Trousdale nightclub in L.A. when Lindsay Lohan walked up to her and threw a glass at the back of her head. “Glass flew everywhere and Samantha looked really shaken up,” a witness reportedly told Radar Online. “The club owner asked Lindsay to leave and was overheard saying she’ll never come back.”

Lohan is lucky she didn’t end up in handcuffs. The way she’s going, she’ll be even luckier if she doesn’t end up in the morgue! We think Michael Lohan is one wacky asshat of a guy, but in one thing we have to agree he’s probably right. Lindsay Lohan needs help whether she likes it or not.

>> Previously:  Lindsay Lohan Accused of Stealing $35,000 Rolex Watch

Lindsay Lohan Accused of Stealing $35,000 Rolex Watch

Troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been named as a suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex watch. The watch allegedly belongs to one of Lohan’s acquaintances, who claims they left it at the actress’s home and never got it back. Police reportedly questioned Lindsay Lohan on Wednesday at her home about the missing watch, according to TMZ.com. An unidentified ‘source’ allegedly claims police have “photographic evidence” linking Lohan to the missing watch.

Lindsay Lohan mug shot (Source: Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department)
Lindsay Lohan mug shot (Source: LAPD)

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer, however, says she has nothing to do with any theft. “The allegations are completely untrue,” Shawn Chapman Holley said in a press statement. No arrests or official charges have been made so far in regard to the alleged theft.

This isn’t the first time Lindsay Lohan has been linked to mysteriously disappearing high-priced items. Last year, Lohan was questioned by Scotland Yard after $400,000 of jewelry vanished following an Elle magazine photo shoot in London. The missing diamond necklace and earrings were never found and the case remains unsolved.

Lohan was also accused in 2008 of stealing a mink coat from Columbia University co-ed Maria Markova at a nightclub. Markova claimed her $11,000 fur coat went missing from the 10ak nightclub during a private party and she later spotted the actress wearing what seemed to be her jacket. The coat was later returned without explanation and the case against Lohan settled for an undisclosed amount.

>> Previously:  Lindsay Lohan Broke, $600,000 in Credit Card Debt

Lindsay Lohan Spends New Years in St. Barts, Tells Fans to Prepare for More Mayhem

Lindsay Lohan spent her New Year’s Eve partying on the gorgeous island of St. Bart’s and her New Year’s Day showing off her bikini bod on the deck of a luxury yacht. Lohan told fans on her Twitter feed to “get ready for more (but positive)–LOHAN MAYHEM!!!” in 2010.

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan

We’re not sure if we really have the stomach for more Lohan mayhem, positive or not. Couldn’t she just shut up for a while? Or at least jump on the celebrity bandwagon of Twitter account deleters? No? Oh well.

Anyway, La Lush Lohan also told her Twitter worshippers that her “new years resolution is to stop letting the lucky few that have my heart, try2constantly tear me down.” She added: “2010 is about moving forward, not backwards. Leaving the bad (people, habits, and negative energy behind) time to make changes right!?!? :). Two words, Lilo… drug rehabs.

How about making a vow to abstain from posting incoherent, rambling, misspelled sentences on your Twitter feed for at least a month? We’d SO be behind you on that resolution!

>> Previously: Lindsay Lohan Twitter Attack: My Father is a Lunatic

Lindsay Lohan Twitter Attack: ‘My Father is a Lunatic’

Lindsay Lohan lashed out at dad Michael Lohan on her Twitter feed this weekend, calling him a “lunatic”. Michael Lohan has been blabbing to the media constantly the last few weeks, claiming Lindsay is addicted to pills and in danger of killing herself.

lindsay-lohan-sf1

“I want my daughter off prescription medication,” Michael Lohan told Access Hollywood. “She never needed it in her life… I’m not going to watch my daughter die. Hate me now, but you love me more later because I’m gonna turn her life around.”

In response to her father’s accusations, Lindsay Lohan posted on Twitter Friday night: “The next shopping spree I’m going on is for a new last name!!!” Calling Michael Lohan a “lunatic,” Lohan said her father has “never been around in my life other than when he’d threaten me&my family.”

“He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars,” Lohan said. “Its so sad to get a phone call from my baby sister just now asking, ‘why is daddy doing this?’ Through tears. He’s crossed the lines&hurt me&my family 4 the last time… So much for having a ‘dad’….. I’m going to spend some time with the ones that love me&i love now.”

>> Previously: Lindsay Lohan Goes Cuckoo At Cuckoo

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Star Jon Gosselin Swears He’s Single

Jon & Kate Plus 8 star Jon Gosselin swears he is single, despite rumors of ongoing romantic entanglements with friend Haily Glassman and Star Magazine reporter Kate Major. Jon Gosselin told People this week that he does not have a girlfriend and is, for all intents and purposes, “single – per se.”

Of course, Gosselin’s rumored gal-pals may not see their relationship to the Jon & Kate Plus 8 star quite the same way. Hailey Glassman, the daughter of Kate Gosselin’s tumescent lipo plastic surgeon, recently called her relationship with Jon Gosselin “perfect.” But according to Jon, the two are ‘on a break’ because Glassman couldn’t deal with his media whoring (or as he says, the ‘craziness’). His heart, “will always be with” Hailey though, he told People. We’re sure it was, every moment he was canoodling with Star Magazine reporter Kate Major in the Hamptons.

gosselin1

As for Kate Major – dubbed by tabloid blogs as Kate 2.0 – Gosselin firmly denies the two are engaged in any kind of relationship other than “just friends.” This, despite the fact that Major recently resigned from her post at Star because of a conflict of interest because she was “falling” for Jon Gosselin. And, according to ChicagoNow.com, Kate reportedly continues to insist that she and Jon are an item.

Jon Gosselin insists he is not a ‘player’ and he is “not looking for anyone.” No, he just wants to have “good times” with friends. Like having an awesome time dissing your girlfriends in the media, apparently.

Maybe Jon Gosselin would have better luck not seeming like an ass if he stopped taking personal advice from his new BFF Michael Lohan. Yeah, Lindsay Lohan’s dad is a great role model of marriage and parenting – right?