Gary Collins Popped Driving Drunk…Again

One-time TV host and “actor” Gary Collins was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving…in a MOTORHOME. He was driving said beast “erratically.” If there is somebody you don’t want to be near when they’re driving ANYTHING, it’s 70 year-old Gary. The geriatric gin-guzzler officially kicks off the “bad celeb mugshot” 2009 season. Smilin’ Gary looks to be quite the contender this year.

According to an arrest report, deputies in the coastal county of Santa Barbara pulled Collins over Saturday evening after noticing him driving a motor home erratically. The 70-year-old was arrested by the California Highway Patrol after failing a field sobriety test. He was later released on $25,000 bail.

The arrest comes roughly 13 months after Tom Gary Collins plead no contest to driving under the influence and served a four-day jail sentence in a suburb of LA. He was placed on two years of informal probation, and records show he was admonished about the dangers of drunken driving. Obviously, admonishing doesn’t go real far with Gary. Time to call Dr. Drew?

Records also indicate he was convicted of DUI in 2004 in Malibu. They did not indicate whether he has an attorney. Trust me, he has one…on retainer. No word on whether he still has his former Miss America wife, Mary Anne Mobley around, but if she’s still hanging in- let’s hope she hides ALL the keys this time. Gary’s approaching “George Jones On A Lawnmower Beer Run” status. (Google it. Yes, it’s true.)

Michael Phelps Caught Hitting A Bong

Uh, oh, this may not bode well for the 2012 US Olympic swim team! The UK’s News Of The World has just hit the net with a salacious story about super-swimmer Michael Phelps.

Reportedly, in November Michael got his par-tay on during two days of hanging with students at the University of South Carolina. It was a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.

One party-goer told the NOTW that

“He was out of control from the moment he got there.If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

Michael’s peeps reportedly went ballistic over the story, and the tabloid says they were offered some big bucks not to run the bong picture above.

The bong-hitting was on November 6, weeks after Michael’s Beijing triumph. He surprised students at the University Of South Carolina by showing up unannounced at a house party. He was secretly dating a girl named Jordan Matthews, who was a student there. Somebody snitched, and said:

“Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.“He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal. He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go. Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

Ouch. Hallmark of the nerd-made-good. Amateur! NOTW says Phelps knocked back beers and shots. And… when a student offered him the glass bong engraved with red writing, he did not hesitate. What would Flipper say?! The snitch said,

“You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”

Paranoia and the munchies. Classic. Now we know why Michael eats so damn much! Maybe you should hang out with George Obama, Michael! Duuuude, Cameras. They’re EVERYWHERE.

source: NOTW

Snark Sightings

Will Europe Really End The World On Wednesday? UK Daily Mail

Jennifer Lopez Is On The Photoshop Diet: 7 Confessions

Tara Reid Took A Bath: Backseat Cuddler

Michael Phelps Gets His Party On: Socialite Life

Heart Doesn’t Want Airplay For “Barracuda”: Bumpshack

Christina Aguilera
Keeps Getting Better: Superficial Diva

Katie “Jordan” Price
Is Abusing Horses: Go Fug Yourself

Miley Cyrus
Is NOT Dead, Fools! : Gawker

Lance Armstrong
Needs Some Viagra: Bitten and Bound

Teri Hatcher Is An Idiot: D-Listed

Lindsay Lohan’s Lust Gets DENIED By Michael Phelps’ Mom

Well, it’s official. Lindsay Lohan was raised in a barn. Olympic swimming superstar Michael Phelps‘ mom was doing an interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush on Monday. Billy received a text message from Lindsay while on the air with Debbie Phelps, which he proceeded to show her. Mom was NOT amused. Why? Here’s Lindsay’s CLASSY come-on she wanted Debbie to pass on to Michael:

“Tell him he’s f***ng amazing, and I want to meet him.”

Except without the stars.
Mama Debbie went from happy to horrified, and declared:

“OK, Lindsay!!! — Delete! Delete! Delete!”

Delete indeed! Lindsay’s obviously trying to hook up with anything that breathes…of either sex. Dina Lohan is probably scratching her head at why Debbie Phelps is horrified. Dina would do the same thing, so what’s the big deal? White trash, my dears, will always be white trash, and Debbie Phelps can smell the trash from a mile away.

Jennifer Lopez On Michael Phelps: I’m The REAL Story

Insufferable diva Jennifer Lopez may have out-douched herself this time. MSNBC sources are reporting that the legend in her own mind got PISSY about all the attention Olympic superstar Michael Phelps is getting. Hahahahah!!!! J. Lo appeared on “Good Morning America” yesterday to pimp her prep for the upcoming Malibu Triathlon. GMA sources say that after the segment, diva was overheard saying she:

“couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer. She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she blabbed on about how SHE was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that SHE was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ “

This is a new high in inches for how far J. Lo’s head is up her own ass. That’s gotta be worth at least a bronze medal. Bitch, get back to “training” in Central Park with your makeup artist, while Skelator follows you on the Segway. Snarkista’s pretty sure Phelps will say “Jennifer Who?” IF he hears the news. She seriously doubts he has that much free time.

World Video Premiere: The Game’s “My Life” Featuring Lil Wayne

The Game just released his full world premiere for the video for his third single “My Life”; from his upcoming third studio album “L.A.X.”. Rapper Lil Wayne is here on vocals! “My Life” hit the air on July 22 but was leaked in early July. The album won’t drop until August 26. The Game’s video was filmed on July 23 and is directed by Bryan Barber, who also directed Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man”. “My Life” takes place in a graveyard of gritty Compton. This one’s for Michael Phelps!! Cool & Dre, Young Buck, and Birdman make guest appearances. Take it away, boyz.

The Game’s “My Life” featuring Lil Wayne:

Michael Phelps: He’s THAT Good! 7th Gold Medal 100m Butterfly- VIDEO!

USA! USA! Swimming phenomenon Michael Phelps tied Mark Spitz’s record 7 Olympic gold medals buy beating Milorad Cavic in the 100 meter Butterfly! By .001 of a second!! TRULY down to the wire, this one was about as close as you can get. Guess those 12,000 calories a day paid off! Michael’s crazy diet’s below the video. Dude could medal in competitive eating!

Michael’s diet: Yes, he eats it ALL, every day. Phelps says he basically eats, swims and sleeps.
Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits (word to the South!). Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Lunch: One pound of enriched pasta. Two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread. Energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.

Dinner: One pound of pasta. An entire pizza. More energy drinks.

Michael’s a HUGE Lil Wayne fan, so Snarkista’s just posted above The Game‘s Premiere Video “My Life” featuring Lil Wayne on vocals. Tonight is the 4 x 100 meter relay, and the US team has NEVER lost. 11 gold medals. Tonight they could pick up number 12, and Michael his 8th. The race begins at approximately 10:45 ET. Get it boys!