Cover Crimes: Gwyneth Paltrow Edition

cover-crimes-gwyenth-paltrow-edition

Elle Horreure! Times are tough everywhere- even at Disney, who obviously is conducting a stealth campaign using the epitome of the Disney demographic, Gwyneth Paltrow. For subtlety.

Gwinnie is demonstrating a look that the kind would dub “runway”, and the unkind would dub “run away”. But, “the massive ear/shoulders with the shorts are so daring, Snarkista. How can you fault? It’s artistic license, clearly.”

Clearly it involves a license…violation…straight from the Fashion Police. It’s one thing to swish rapidly down a runway in some designer’s crazed confection, and it’s another to capture it, freeze it, and make us look at it in the checkout line.

I know, Disney, Miley Cyrus will not behave. Or close the dressing-room door in boutiques. But Pepsi’s already trying the super-subtle-subliminal-motif thing with Obama’s logo, and that’s almost like recording satanic chants backwards on a Jonas Brothers CD.

Just step away from the pitchfest at the ad agency, and hopefully no one will get hurt. Gwyneth will never know you’re gone. Maybe Miley would put this top on her head for you? Ah, no. Nevermind.

Miley Cyrus Posts Pics Of Justin Gaston And Herself In Bed


Miley Cyrus is racing out of control…and obviously her parents are complete morons. As everyone knows, Miley’s addicted to taking pics of herself that are sometimes quite racy. She obviously learned NOTHING after being hacked and having the shots appear all over the ‘net. No, Miley’s still at it, this time with her 20 year-old boy-toy Justin Gaston.

Miley thought it would be a great idea to post some pics on her Facebook of Justin hanging out with her IN BED. Brainiac! Besides continuing to set a skanky example for her young fans, her documentation of her love life may be evidence of a felony! Now, the Cyrus clan would have us all believe that Miley and Justin have a lovely, chaste relationship. We’d love to buy that, but the pics Miley keeps providing say something different.

Justin is a 20 year-old MAN, and is more than 4 years older than Miley. That’s a key number here in Miley’s home state of Tennessee, as that’s the defining rule for statutory rape. Not sure what the laws are in Cali, but I doubt they’d let Justin off the hook either. Tellingly, one of the comments to Miley on the Facebook screenshot says “He’s gonna kill you”, to which she responded, “He doesn’t have Facebook so he won’t know…lol”. Oh, yeah, Miley. He won’t know! L.O.L. indeed.

Snarkista’s getting tired of telling Billy Ray Cyrus to tighten the reins on Miley, and it seems he’s either given up- or going along for the PR ride hoping it will help both of them out of their Hannah Montana contracts. There are even rumors he’s PAYING Justin to be Miley’s boyfriend. Whatever the reason, it is just WRONG. We’ll see if this latest stunt gives Justin a scare, or if he keeps on tossing caution to the wind. And Disney’s REALLY walking a fine line these days with it’s increasingly scandalous starlets.

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