Morning Snark – Octomom Nadya Suleman, Mischa Barton, The Bachelorette, Joe Jonas, Megan Fox and More

Nadya Suleman, better known as the Octomom, has the green light to financially exploit her 14 children in a new reality show. On Monday, a California judge approved the $250,000 deal on the condition a financial guardian is appointed to keep an eye on the kids’ earnings and ensure no labor laws are violated. Because forcing 14 children to have their private lives invaded for their mom’s profit is certainly violation enough.

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Joe Jonas and actress girlfriend Camilla Belle have officially broken up, a rep for Belle told Access Hollywood. No cheating or other nastiness was supposedly involved and the two reportedly remain on good terms. We’re pretty sure Joe won’t have to be lonely for long. After all, the Jonas Brothers are currently on tour – there are sure to be plenty of screaming groupies to go around for all.

Troubled actress Mischa Barton is ready to go back to work after spending some time in the hospital for an ‘undisclosed’ condition.  Barton will reportedly return to work at her new gig on the TV series The Beautiful Life on Friday. Hopefully Barton will be spending a lot of time in the makeup chair covering up how totally wasted she looks with her ‘undisclosed’ condition. Then again, she is playing a drug-addicted model on the show, so maybe they should just let her go au natural.

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In a hilarious and somewhat scary moment of fan insanity at Comic-Con this week, a crazed Megan Fox devotee attempted to persuade the Hollywood hottie to star in his own private sex tape. Fox was promoting her upcoming film Jonah Hex when the freakish fan gushed that he had just graduated film school and would she like to help him out by starring in a celebrity sex tape? Unsurprisingly, the fan was quickly seized and booted out of Comic-Con on his ass by security. Honestly, if Fox was going to do a celebrity sex tape, we’re thinking she has a lot better choices for co-stars than a Comic-Con geek fan boy.

It might just be love for The Bachelorette star Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski. Harris accepted a marriage proposal from technology consultant Swiderski on the finale of The Bachelorette on Monday. Are Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski still together? Fans will have to wait until Tuesday night’s The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose special to hopefully find out if the couple stuck it out.

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And for a last few tidbits…

23-year-old Daniel Bark has been charged with vehicular homicide in the hit-and-run death of former American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen.

Hulk Hogan is now a free man. Hogan and former wife Linda Bollea finally hashed out the last details of their divorce settlement. Details are not being released to the public.

Charlie’s Angels star Farrah Fawcett left druggie son Redmond a three million inheritance on her death. But the funds will be strictly controlled through a monthly allowance in hopes Redmond will actually take the chance to clean up his life once he eventually gets out of jail.

Snark Sightings

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Jessica Simpson Spares America; Calls Off Country Tour: Lainey Gossip

Natalie Portman Really Gets Around: Just Jared

Kate Moss- Probably Preggers, Definitely Smoking: Hollywood Rag

Kate Winslet’s Daughter- Fashion Police: Knocked Up Celebs

FHM Thinks Mischa Barton Is Sexy? Backseat Cuddler

Filmmakers Buying “Slumdog” Kids New Houses: Get The Big Picture

“Miss Connecticut Outstanding Teen” Busted For Drinking:
Bitten And Bound

Lindsay’s Leggings Bringing Cameltoe Back

Which NOBODY wants to see- unless, perhaps, you’re Samantha Ronson. How hard is it to design freaking leggings? And, more importantly, why WOULD you? Snarkista hates leggings, even though she has fabulous legs that everything looks great on. Seriously, leggings aren’t flattering on anyone, and just look like busted ’80’s unless worn under a long top. Under a long top they are just stupidfug.

If you skip the long top, get ready for some full-on cameltoe at some point in the day. WAY too dangerous. Mischa Barton was out recently in some truly HEINOUS polyester-denim leggings (and, of course, cameltoe). Plumb God- AWFUL, trust me.
Brainiac-marketer Lindsay has named her line “6126”, because EVERYONE knows that’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, and Lindsay IS Marilyn reincarnated (according to Dina). It should have been named “666”, because the “line” will include:

“footless tights” made from “Supima cotton and Modal ribbed knits” along with other fabrics spruced up with zippers, foil prints, yarn dyes and sexy metallic and screen prints.
Cashmere leg warmers and something called an “ankle glove,” a modified warmer that covers the ankle, are also part of the line, which will start at $40 and go up to $140.

The only people who should be wearing cashmere leg warmers are ballet dancers, and the mysterious “ankle glove” sounds like… a leg warmer. I can only IMAGINE the horror of zippers on leggings, and metallic prints could blind the paparazzi! It’s hard out there for a pap- and eyesight is quite important for the job. Ribbed knits will make your legs look like an NFL football player’s. If Snarkista finds out you’ve paid $140 for a pair of tights, there will be holy hell to pay! Just say “oh HELL no”, and buy some real pants.