Paris Hilton’s rep has confirmed that Paris and her boyfriend of 9 months, Benji Madden, are SPLITSVILLE! “Even though they are still in love, they felt it would be better to just be friends,” a source close to Hilton, 27, told US magazine. Yeah, this explains a lot about why Paris was [...]

Paris Hilton may have that fug wonk eye, but the chick is not blind. Proof? This weekend La Hilton was in Miami at the Fountainbleau hotel where she hung out with hunky ex-boyfriend Stavros Niachros. They hit up club Mokai on Saturday night, and Paris’ boyfriend Benji “Pudge” Madden was NOT around. [...]

Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are rumored to be in talks to star in a sitcom together. And you thought there was nothing to watch on TV! HBO wants to sign them for a show where they will basically play themselves. The trio were big buds a few years ago, [...]

Paris Hilton’s latest attempt to be relevant by sticking her size 12 feet into the election, is probably playing 24/7 in Al Queda training camps. Paris really thinks Kyoto is on the sushi menu. Thanks, Wonky!

What Is The LA Times Hiding? NRO
Katy Perry Swears She Won’t Need Rehab: Backseat Cuddler
Riots If McCain Wins? Overnight AM
Airess Hilton- Space Cadet: NZ Herald

50 Cent Gets About 50 Percent: Industry Finest
Billy Ray Cyrus Lets Justin, 20, Move In With Miley, 15: Hollywire

Cindy Crawford Does A Mean Amy [...]

Lindsay Lohan’s Too Ugly For “Ugly Betty”: Zap2it
Is Barack Obama Really Barack Obama?: Contrarian Commentary

Bill O’Reilly Bloviates On “The View”; Joy Throws A Tantrum: Bumpshack

Paris Hilton Is A Royal Idiot: Danity Donnaly
Beyonce’s Gonna Let Solange Out Of The Basement! Rap-Up
Julianne Hough Had a BAD Tummyache: Fancast

Here’s Wonky McValtrex looking like a tranny clown in her second “Paris For President” video. Bish, plz. You’ll get my fake vote when you step off this train for good. The first one was novel. This one is slightly entertaining, but not for the reasons you think. Voters can smell [...]

Is Paris Hilton ready to lead? In an answer to Paris’ bid for the White House, National Lampoon lobs it back to Funny Or Die with their OWN candidate: Britney Spears!

China pulls a Milli Vanilli: The Telegraph
Big Brooke Hogan… Desperado: D-Listed
Pregorexia- The Hottest New Celebucraze: Gravy And Biscuits
Britney And The Elephant In The Room: Backseat Cuddler
Celebs Say The Dumbest Things! Behind Blondie Park
Why Can’t Michael Phelps Look As Good As He Swims? The Third I
The Top 6 Celebs Who [...]

No, this isn’t Paris Hilton Week. But Wonky’s pissed about John McCain using her picture for .3 seconds in his ad that quickly went viral. Mama Wonky is even more pissed because she gave some of that hotel money to McCain! In case you haven’t already seen Paris Hilton’s response from Funny or Die, here [...]