Bristol Palin And Levi Johnston Are Splitsville

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Well, Snarkista’s sad to say it looks like there won’t be a royal Alaskan wedding this summer, as Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol has kicked her baby-daddy Levi Johnston out.

The young couple, who welcomed son Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston two months ago, have gone their separate ways. Rumors had been swirling, and Johnston, 19, finally confirmed Wednesday that they have been broken up for a while.

After being thrust into the national spotlight last summer, Johnston and Palin, the eldest daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, had said they were planning to marry this summer after she finished high school.

Levi’s sister, Mercede has apparently cashed a check from the Star, and she is dishing out some dirt. She says Bristol, 18, has virtually cut Levi out of the life of their two-month-old son Tripp.

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“Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash’!” Bristol won’t even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours — unless he’s babysitting!

The worst part, Mercede continues, is that the former vice presidential candidate supports Bristol’s treatment of Levi, 19. “I used to love Sarah,” Mercede says sadly. “But I’ve lost lots of respect for her.”

Ah, young love. So fickle.

Beyonce Pisses Off Etta James

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Sasha Fierce has gone and riled up the legendary Etta James, by singing her legendary song- “At Last” for Barack Obama at his inauguration. Etta is not Beyonce’s biggest fan…or Obama’s. At a recent concert Etta threatened to whoop Ms. Fierce’s ass, and wondered what gave THAT diva the right to sing HER SONG at the ball. Quoth Etta:

You know, your President, the one with the big ears — he ain’t my President — had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She’s going to get her ass whooped… ‘How dare Beyoncè sing my song that I been singing forever. Now I’m going to sing it for y’all….”

Loud and clear, Miz Etta! Snarkista is DYING to see an Etta/Beyonce smackdown…hey, SNL? It would be SO much better than last week’s show. You go, Etta. Beyonce and Barack deserve each other.

Lindsay Lohan Calls Barack Obama “Colored”

Whaaaat did Lindsay Lohan just say to Maria Menounos? Barack Obama is our first colored President? Sure, Lindsay looks like she just fell off of the party wagon and into this interview, but Snarkista’s pretty sure what she heard. Stuff like his is why Lindsay’s peeps wanted her to quit blogging about the election. Don’t worry, it’s right near the beginning of the clip! This has to be White Oprah’s fault!!

The Election Danceoff: Obaminators vs. McCainiacs!

John Chu, ACDC member (not the band, grampaw!) who brought us Miley Cyrus and Mandy Jiroux’s WAY popular Youtube danceoffs, has created a new way to solve the world’s problems. Dance ’em away! Seriously, John’s created a fun new site that’s become wildly popular…people send in their dance videos where they are dancing for their candidate of choice! The Palinistas are here too! The winner of the danceoff will be announced on Election Day, November 4th. To submit a video, visit ibeatyou.com. Don’t forget to vote, unless you’re uninformed. If you are, good news! You can stay home! Party time!!

SNL Update Thursday: Bush Endorses McCain & Palin- With Will Ferrell!

Will Ferrell made a President Bush cameo on SNL last night for “Update Thursday”, and he gave John McCain and Sarah Palin his endorsement! John tried to get away, to no avail. Tina Fey as Sarah had to straighten the President out about the role of the VP!

Snark Sightings

Lindsay Lohan’s Too Ugly For “Ugly Betty”: Zap2it

Is Barack Obama Really Barack Obama?: Contrarian Commentary

Bill O’Reilly Bloviates On “The View”; Joy Throws A Tantrum:
Bumpshack

Paris Hilton Is A Royal Idiot:
Danity Donnaly

Beyonce’s Gonna Let Solange Out Of The Basement! Rap-Up

Julianne Hough Had a BAD Tummyache: Fancast

Sarah Palin On SNL- The Palin Rap

If you’re a fan of Saturday Night Live, you know that little, white, Amy Poehler has some MAD rap skilz. You don’t get to see them often, but when you do… it’s a fab treat. Last night, Governor Sarah Palin stopped by SNL and everything went great! Alec Baldwin came by too, and told Sarah she was WAY hotter in person. The papz say this is TRUTH! Lefty bloggers need to lighten up; Palin looked fun, not dumb. Sarah got her groove on with everyone while Amy threw down The Palin Rap. All tha plumbers in tha house pull ya pants up!