Sam Ronson injured in accident

Lindsay Lohan‘s ex, Samantha Ronson, was injured in an accident over the weekend when her bicycle was involved in a near miss with a car.  Ronson was riding home in the early hours of Saturday morning, when a driver who apparently didn’t see her zoomed toward her bicycle.

Ronson swerved out of the way to avoid the car, and ended up crashing face first into the pavement.  She’s okay, but she did have to have a few stitches, and she canceled a a show the following day so she could recover.  No word on what she was doing riding a bicycle in the middle of the night.

Lindsay Lohan Goes Cuckoo At Cuckoo


Oh Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Just when we think you’ve hit the bottom and MAY be headed back up for air, you pull a stunt that shocks even the most jaded among us. Not that Snarkista is jaded, mind you, but Lindsay Lohan is giving celebrities who behave badly good reasons to feel smug.

The freckled one decided to go clubbing the other night in London, and ended up at Cuckoo. Clearly, Lindsay took the club’s name as a green light to completely crack up in public. The Mirror reports that:

Linds sat with her straggly hair all over her face looking strangely detached from the world and mumbled: “I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged.”

Unfortunately, the creepy behavior continued as Lindsay and her posse visited the bathrooms.

My spy tells me: “She just wouldn’t stop saying she felt caged. She was just not all there and it really was like watching a broken girl in the middle of a complete breakdown.

Unfortunately, the meltdown didn’t stop in the powder room, as Li-Lo then proceeded to curl up in a fetal position on the dance floor. She’s a pro, though, as she managed to hang on to the vodka she’d been guzzling all night.

So much for sobriety…perhaps the tales of SamRo keeping Lindsay clean are true. Lindsay had followed her ex to London, and unsuccessfully texted her all night long. Sam didn’t take the bait, and must have had her fill of playing nanny to the firecracker. It’s hard to DJ when your hands are THAT full. Time to head back to rehab, Lindsay. Stay longer this time.

UPDATE: Apparently SamRo DID take the bait, as Lindsay is sporting a new “engagement ring” today. Good luck with that, Sam.

Jesse Metcalfe Knocked Out After 40 Foot Balcony Fall

Looks like some partying at the World Music Awards in Monaco this weekend got a leeetle bit out of hand. Desperate Housewives star Jesse Metcalfe, who hosted the awards, apparently lost his balance and fell 40 feet off of a balcony. Damn! This wouldn’t have happened if Lindsay Lohan had co-hosted as originally planned! SamRo’s attachment at Lindsay’s hip would have saved them all from going over the side.

But back to Jesse – his rep sayeth:

“He accidentally slipped off a balcony and was knocked unconscious, but he is fine and now recovering from some minor bruises in a London hospital.”

Jesse’s having some CAT scans before he comes home. Dude is really lucky. SamRo’s gonna feel bad for being so jealous of Jesse, but, come on. She can’t compete with THAT hottie!

Lindsay Lohan Can’t Follow Directions

Nope, even though Lindsay Lohan wants to sell YOU fake tanner, she obviously can’t read the directions on the box, ‘cuz she forgot to tan her feet. We all know Lindsay’s natural color is Fishbelly, so using some fake-tan isn’t a crime. It IS a crime, however, to hit the red carpet in a short skirt and orange legs, with white ankles and feet. This messed UP! Does LiLo own a full length mirror? Was she in a hurry or wearing socks while she slathered up? Will you buy fake-tanner from Lindsay? Snarkista needs to know.

Lindsay Lohan: Not A Pundit

Lindsay Lohan likes to blog. She’s espoused upon her trainwreck of a dad, and her “relationship” with Samantha Ronson. Political commentary, however, isn’t her wheelhouse.

After Lindsay’s rant against Republican VP contender Sarah Palin last month, her management team has strongly encouraged her to stop blogging about the presidential election or, for that matter, ANY of her political interests. Sayeth one of her former publicists:

“It’s just a matter of time before Lindsay puts her foot in her mouth, and that’s what they worry about.”

Lindsay’s management is right. Anderson Cooper she is NOT. She should write ONLY about her heinous line of leggings, snarks against her frenemies, and, most importantly, what the next step will be in SamRo’s makeover.

Shock Of The Decade: Clay Aiken Admits He’s Gay.

Is it National Come Out Of The Closet Because No One Believes You Are Straight Anyway Day? First Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson tell Loveline that yes, they ARE together, and have been for a long time. Daddy Michael Lohan is NOT taking it well. Now, People Magazine’s upcoming issue has Clay Aiken, front and center with his turkey-baster babe, telling us what we already know, that he IS gay.

Claymates who have been in denial for years should be monitored carefully in the next few weeks, and possibly be considered for suicide watch. ‘Cuz they are the ONLY ones who are gonna be shocked by THIS newsflash. And it won’t be pretty. Look for Ricky Martin to be gracing a similar cover story soon, as he TOO recently shook his bon-bons into the turkey baster for some babes of his own. Snarkista’s deepest condolences to the gaydar-impaired.

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Turn Your Ass Orange

Recently, Lindsay Lohan made her foray into the fashion world with her cameltoe legging-wear. She thoughtfully designed some with KNEEPADS. Now, Lindsay wants to help you be tanorexic.

Lindsay’s coming out with a line of fake tanner, a product she’s intimately familiar with! As Lindsay’s natural skin color is Fishbelly, fake tanner has been a MUST for her to blend in all of those freckles. Mama Dina Lohan probably used the orange juice on little Lindsay instead of baby lotion, and her hands are all over THIS product launch!

Dina’s no stranger to the faux sunglow…look at any of her pictures. Dina likes to call herself the “White Oprah”, but honestly, she’s “Orange Oprah.” Snarkista apologizes to Oprah for the reference, but please don’t shoot the messenger.

Look for Lindsay’s fake-tan to carry a hefty price tag just like her heinous leggings. Perhaps she’ll blog about it, since Barack Obama said “thanks but no thanks” to Lindsay’s campaign endorsement, leaving LiLo with more free time. Surely it will have prominent product-placement on “Living Lohan”, and thirty fifteen year-old Ali will be forced to slather up to promote her career as a Supermodel. Will SamRo get the glow too? Exfoliate first!