Crimes Against Fashion: Solange Knowles Edition

This should probably be “Crimes Against Fashion: Tina Knowles Edition.” However, Solange Knowles IS an adult, and presumably has the ability to say “HELL NO, MOM!” She didn’t, so Solange is charged with the crime. There is SO much wrong with Solange’s new video for her lame song “Sandcastle Disco”. Solange can NOT dance. (She can, however, play charades.) Snarkista’s not wild about her singing. But all of this pales in comparison to the horrifying costumes that have been foisted upon poor Solange.

To say they are fugly is being incredibly kind. We have Solange in a great imitation of a Goodwill cocktail dress. Solange in an outfit that is unclassifiable, but resembles a giant Barry Manilow “Copacabana” shirt. It’s yellow, and it’s trying to EAT Solange while she “dances” on a giant piano. Then there’s Solange as Big Bird. It is all unbelievably god-awful.

Solange hasn’t gotten the memo that the only thing she’s ever gonna star in is House Of Dereon ads. Big sissy Beyonce got that written in stone a LONG time ago. Poor Solange is relegated to pantomiming with backup girls who can also pantomime. It’s painful. Extremely painful. Solange? If your video looks like it was made by Sesame Street, you REALLY need to kick somebody’s ass. Here’s an even better idea. Get some revenge on Beyonce by “helping mama design”. That would be a hellofa lot more fun.