Cover Crimes: Scarlett Johannson Edition (Again.)

Behold Scarlett Johannson front and center on the soon-to-be extinct (yay!) Cosmogirl. Poor Scarlett has once again been talked into looking goofy for a magazine cover. Scarlett wants to Rock The Vote, so she’s dressed like a baton twirler on the Fourth of July even though it’s October. Star-spangled shorts-overalls aren’t quite as bad as formal shorts…but they are getting really close. Hopefully THIS is not one of “Fall’s Hottest Looks”, although there’s no way Snarkista will buy the mag to find out.

Snarkista thinks Scarlett is secretly celebrating the fact that Cosmogirl is going away for good! Skanky big sister mag Cosmopolitan is a monthly exercise of how many ways a cover can say “Sex”, or a derivative thereof. Cosmogirl couldn’t be QUITE as blatant due to it’s target market. There just aren’t that many ways to plug “sexy hair”, so the stumped editors have to close up shop. One less cover for Scarlett to get tricked into wearing the fug, and one less rag for mom and dad to worry about. And that’s a good thing.

David Archuleta Gets A Teen Choice Nomination!

David Archuleta

No big surprise here, but squealmaker David Archuleta has received a 2008 Teen Choice Awards nomination for having the most fanatic fans! Archie could probably take this one home, as anyone knows who witnessed the asteroid shower of screams that rocked American Idol EVERY TIME he took the stage!

Other categories have been added to the “Teen Choice” voting ballot- including Choice MySpace and Archie’s category of Choice Fanatic Fans. There are a LOT of categories, in response to the online input on the award’s site. Fans can vote once a day on the Teen Choice website. You’re supposed to be a teen, but, whatever. If you love you some Jonas Brothers or are an Ironman fan… Snarkista won’t tell if you vote.

Stars scheduled to appear on the August 8th show (Fox, 8pm eastern) include The Jonas Brothers, Chris Brown, Scarlett Johannson, Kristen Bell, Chace Crawford, Hayden Panettiere and many more. The show will be hosted by…wait for it…Miley Cyrus. Miley’s gotta be able to do this hostessing shizz in her SLEEP by now!