December 18, 2008

Tom Cruise Gives Katie Holmes Hallucinogens For Her Birthday

Tom Cruise has been on a tour lately to try and convince us he’s normal. Guess what? Nice try, but EPIC FAIL. Tommy-Girl has been alluding for weeks that his birthday present for wife Katie Holmes was going to be really special. Oh, it’s special alright. Katie better haul ass. Tom revealed his present to […]

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December 2, 2008

Tom Cruise Wants To Marry David Beckham. Oh, And Posh Too.

This is NOT gonna help squelch those “Tom Cruise is gay” rumors! Tommy-girl is a certifiable freak. Australia’s Live News says that he gave David and Victoria Beckham a truly bizarre Thanksgiving present…a pseudo-wedding between him, David, Katie and Posh. WTF?! Who the hell gives Thanksgiving presents anyways? Sneaky Scientologists, that’s who! Tommy’s been trying […]

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November 19, 2008

Uh Oh, Tom Cruise Is “Laughable” In Valkyrie

Oh, this is NOT good for Tom Cruise’s efforts to reverse his current “box-office poison” reputation. As you all know, Tom is starring in the much-delayed “Valkyrie”, where he plays a Nazi bent on assassinating Hitler. The movie is NOT a comedy, but test audiences are having a hard time not laughing at Tommy-Girl’s performance. […]

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October 23, 2008

What’s Up With Katie Holmes’ Teeth?!

Oh, this makes Katie’s OTHER Crimes Against Fashion look like misdemeanors! What happened to Katie’s teeth? The pic on the left was shot yesterday, the pic in the middle was shot this summer, and the pic on the right is a closeup. Yikes! This is beyond a chipped tooth…her whole smile is snaggled! Is Katie […]

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October 18, 2008

Saturday’s Stuff Tom Cruise Doesn’t Want You To See

No, NOT this heinous outfit Katie Holmes wore on Thursday for opening night. The afterparty was at “E-Space” and Katie got confused. The fact that she designed this herself will have to wait, because Katie is taking too many “Crimes Against Fashion” awards. But in honor of Scientology-prisoner Katie’s debut on Broadway, and the protest […]

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October 10, 2008

Katie Holmes On “Eli Stone”: Yikes.

Oh, help. Snarkista told Katie Holmes NO to this look back in July as Katie was filming a cameo for Eli Stone. She HOPED it would not have been captured on film, but was just another of Katie’s Crimes Against Fashion. Sadly, it WAS her look on the show. Katie’s not a real great singer […]

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October 6, 2008

Xenu’s Coming For Amy Winehouse

Addicted chanteuse Amy Winehouse is in SERIOUS trouble. It was only a matter of time before the Scientologists set their sights on her and tried to round her up into Narcanon, their extremely unsuccessful drug “rehab” program. Amy needs help, no doubt about it. And the Scientologists are about to help her out of a […]

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September 24, 2008

Katie Holmes Has A Mystery “Mister X”

Katie Holmes has been hanging out between her Broadway All My Sons duties with a handsome mystery man. The cast and crew call him “Mister X”. And the “X” doesn’t stand for Xenu! Katie seems to have somehow escaped the death grip of Tommy, and has found time to chill with a normal male person. […]

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September 12, 2008

Save Pink!

CRAP! The effin’ Scientologists are trying to snatch Pink into the Xenu fold. Pink! Think! Pink’s BFF Juliette Lewis (yes, the fashion trainwreck and sometime-rocker) has reportedly recruited Pink into the fellowship of the thetan-fearers. Juliette thinks holding some soup cans will help Pink get over the breakdown of her marriage to Carey Hart. UK’s […]

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August 25, 2008

Tom Cruise Can’t Sing, Still Has A Gay Old Time

Okay, this video isn’t from Tom Cruise’s last birthday in July, but it IS from his top secret birthday party aboard the Freewinds, Scientology’s asbestos-ridden (earthly) mothership. Snarkista’s watching the DNC and wanted to give y’all something to laugh at BESIDES nutty protesters calling Obama a warmonger (?)! Here’s Tom, with Scientology-boss David Miscavige glued […]

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