Heidi Montag Douches Up TV Guide Video On Crappywood

Famewhore Heidi Montag took TV Guide’s Will Keck for a mini-ride through her clothing line “Heidiwood”. Snarkista abhors that name, so it has always been “Crappywood” to her. Indulge, please. Heidi is in full douche-mode as she dishes on her “total involvement” with every aspect of her heinouswear. Especially the “buh-uns”

Heidi carries her Bible in her giant Crappypurse, and her favorite verse is John 3:16… perhaps the most famous verse in the Bible. It is definitely the most popular verse at sporting events. It’s a great verse, don’t get Snarkista wrong. She is very glad that God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, that whomever believes in Him will have eternal life. It’s just a bit of a tell that Heidi may not read much of her Bible. Anyhoo, here’s your “Summer’s Eve” for the eve.

The Hills: MTV’s Sneak Peak

MTV’s released the trailer for “The Hills”. Snarkista isn’t sure if it is clips of plotlines that will really be developed- or the best parts of the season crammed into one trailer. Last season was pretty much a snoozer, and the hint here that the insufferable Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt may break up is just ridiculous! Those two are worth way more together than they are apart, and they aren’t through riding the money train yet. There will be WAY more posed pics and heinous songs from Heidi to endure before the douche-duo parts ways. Also, to Snarkista’s dismay, Spencer seems to be growing something on his face.

John McCain Has A REAL Problem Now

We all know Heidi Montag professed her political love for John McCain a few months ago, and declared she was on his side! Now, Heidi’s been brown-nosing Meghan McCain, John’s daughter. This is NOT a good thing for John. He needs to re-watch the Jib Jab video!

Heidi was lunching with Meghan yesterday, and the effin’ famewhore says she’s hoping to hit the road to do some stumpin’ for McCain! Montard told E!-

We’ll see, We’re just so busy, so we’re trying to figure out our schedules.

Snarkista expects the “we” is Heidi and Spencer, not the royal “we”, OR Heidi is insufferably talking about herself in the third person. Which is entirely possible.

Heidi says she and Meghan have become “good friends” since first meeting less than three months ago at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner in Washington, D.C. Who in the hell invited Heidi to THAT event? Guess somebody bailed at the last minute.

Continue reading John McCain Has A REAL Problem Now

Crappywood


Oh, FAB! Finally the showbook for Heidi Montag’s fall collection for her Heidiwood line has arrived! It’s called her “Club Collection”, club here meaning bars, not country clubs. Heidi couldn’t fake her way into a country club if her life depended upon it; it’s impossible to overcome the class and intelligence deficit up in that clueless Barbie. Heidi’s brain would start smoking and then she’d pull a Stepford wife meltdown.

All the skankfits have insufferable names that only Heidi and Spencer could have picked out like “Hoodiewood” for the hoodie outfit. Heidi apparently feels that dark, skinny pants are still hot, and all a girl needs to be a star! Sayeth Montard on the look called “Signature Required”:

“All you need is Heidi’s signature for your VIP entrance…in this black denim jacket and overdyed black skinnies.”

Heidi’s a VIP alright, a Vapid, Ignorant, Putz. Don’t wanna go anywhere that Heidi’s signature is considered currency. Snarkista’s declaring the whole mess Crappywood, and then alerting the thrift store.

photo credits Ten Gossip

What Will Heidi & Spencer Wear On The 4th Of July?


The upcoming 4th of July holiday is a photo-op WAY too irresistible for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt to leave alone! You KNOW we’ll be seeing the douche-dressers up in SOMETHING. Will they outdo their staged Easter bunny shoot? Can they top their fake Mother’s Day pics? What Snarkista wants to know is….

Snark Sightings

Stalker Aniston To Be-Friend The Big Screen? Jossip

Spencer Pratt Milking Mary Kate HARD: Fatback Media

Rikki Rockett Gets Off: Bumpshack

Chris Brown’s Naughty Bits Are Tired: BringinDaNoize

Tila Tequila Is DENIED! Mollygood

Hottest New Fashion Out Of Texas: Fldsdress

Steve-O…Still A Lawsuit Magnet: ICYDK

No Pajiba Love For Hancock: Pajiba

A-Rod gets DUMPED! Sportsfiends