Victoria Beckham and Lauren Conrad: Designing Fakers

Lauren Conrad and Victoria Beckham now have something in common: they were both kicked out of Hollywood’s hottest boutique.

Earlier this year, Kitson owner Fraser Ross announced that he was dropping Vic’s dVb style collection because of lame sales and Posh’s refusal to make a promotional appearance. Now Lauren’s self-named collection of overpriced Targetstyle has suffered a similar fate, with Kitson’s press release that her lack of involvement has led to a lack of sales.

When the collection first came out it did really well because of all the hype surrounding it,” a Kitson rep has said. “But her people were never able to set a date for her to come to the store and as a result it didn’t sell.”

Lauren’s rep fired back that her collection has exceeded expectations and is in more than 500 stores, including Bloomingdale’s, Nordstrom, and Fred Segal. The rep also attempted damage control over rumors that Conrad isn’t the genius behind the brand that she claims to be.

Lauren designs the line from start to finish, doing everything from sketching to fabric selection to fitting the garments

When she’s not partying. However, a few key fashion insiders say that LC is more the “celebrity face” behind her label and that her Creative Director Sherry Wood (the designer for former fashion label Tart) is pretty much responsible for all those boring, girly garments.

Apparently, the majority of celebs with a fashion line have such crazy schedules that they do a bit of the work and front the collection, and Conrad is “no different.” Lauren was also reportedly heard telling pals at a Hollywood club recently that she “can’t even draw a sketch” after being asked for some advice from an aspiring fashion designer. Genius! LC’s too dumb to even keep her mouth shut!

LC apparently does drop by the sweatshop apparel mart where the clothes are made.“She generally stays for an hour or so when she comes,” an employee in the mart said. Anyone who has seen Posh and Lauren’s “collections” would give them at best a yawn, and then a YIKES at the pricetags! Girls, please. Lauren’s dresses all look like sacks, and Snarkista wouldn’t be caught dead with “DVB” on her ass.

Lauren Conrad Out-Bitches The Bitches

Last night, designers and celeb dog owners got together in NYC for the 2008 Paws for Style event, benefiting the NY Humane Society. “The Hills” star-turned-designer Lauren Conrad was scheduled to walk the runway, but backed out at the last minute, refusing to go onstage!

LC arrived WITHOUT a dog, but apparently borrowed one so she wouldn’t look like a dumbass walking the press line before the show. She gave interviews, and natch posed on the red carpet, then completely SPAZZED.

Some in attendance spotted her crying backstage. Maybe Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were on the front row sticking their tongues out. OR, maybe it has something to do with retailer Kitson dropping her clothing line! Doesn’t matter. The MC of the show, obviously NOT a fan of Lauren’s, told the audience…

“Those reality stars can be such temperamental bitches.”

No joke. LC was reportedly paid $20,000 to show up and walk the runway at the event. All of it was paid for by the Humane Society. Classy! It’s one thing to get paid by a club to show up and hang out, and it’s another thing to rip off a charity.
Wendy Diamond, the editor in chief of Animal Fair said:

100 percent of the proceeds from Paws For Style go to the Humane Society of New York, we do not take a penny. If anyone would like to help make up for this costly mishap, please call the Humane Society of New York at (212) 752-4842 or visit their website: http://www.humanesocietyny.org/.

It sucks to have to pick up LC’s tab! As an animal lover, however, Snarkista’s gonna toss a few bucks their way. Here’s hoping Miss Conrad will return the 20K she OBVIOUSLY owes the society. Maybe they can cancel the check.

photo credit: WENN

Crappywood


Oh, FAB! Finally the showbook for Heidi Montag’s fall collection for her Heidiwood line has arrived! It’s called her “Club Collection”, club here meaning bars, not country clubs. Heidi couldn’t fake her way into a country club if her life depended upon it; it’s impossible to overcome the class and intelligence deficit up in that clueless Barbie. Heidi’s brain would start smoking and then she’d pull a Stepford wife meltdown.

All the skankfits have insufferable names that only Heidi and Spencer could have picked out like “Hoodiewood” for the hoodie outfit. Heidi apparently feels that dark, skinny pants are still hot, and all a girl needs to be a star! Sayeth Montard on the look called “Signature Required”:

“All you need is Heidi’s signature for your VIP entrance…in this black denim jacket and overdyed black skinnies.”

Heidi’s a VIP alright, a Vapid, Ignorant, Putz. Don’t wanna go anywhere that Heidi’s signature is considered currency. Snarkista’s declaring the whole mess Crappywood, and then alerting the thrift store.

photo credits Ten Gossip

Brody Jenner, Professional Douche, Wants A Bromance

The male Paris Hilton, Brody Jenner, has lucked out and convinced MTV and Ryan Seacrest to give him his own show on MTV. Here he is with a broken finger courtesy of a girl. The “Hills” dude is looking for someone to replace SPENCER PRATT as his new BFF. The show is called “Bromance”, and will have contestants compete to be part of Brody’s doucheterage. Eliminations will occur in a HOT TUB! Does this sound kinda gay to anyone?

Challenges will include skydiving, dealing with the paparazzi, ability to get into clubs etc. where the wannabe bros will be vying for the great honor of hanging with Brody.

After the “Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies” the rejected dudes will be asked to leave the douchepad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Contestants also will have shots at a “group date” and “alone time” with Jenner in every episode. Eww.

Brain dead MTV senior vp series development Liz Gateley said. “Brody is the perfect fit for this concept; he is type of guy everyone wants to hang out with.” If you’re into that kinda shizz. MTV is really upping the quality of their programming! After “Rock The Cradle”, they’re dipping into the vast pool of Z-listers again.

How hard could it be to replace Spencer? Pretty hard, unless you’re good at staged photo ops and plans for world domination. Good luck to the Bros, but I’d start doing butt- squeeze exercises in case there is a surprise challenge in the hot tub.