Oh, this is NOT good for Tom Cruise’s efforts to reverse his current “box-office poison” reputation. As you all know, Tom is starring in the much-delayed “Valkyrie”, where he plays a Nazi bent on assassinating Hitler. The movie is NOT a comedy, but test audiences are having a hard time not laughing at Tommy-Girl’s performance. Yikes. MGMâ€™s marketing team having to work hard to convince them that â€œValkyrieâ€ is a thriller. Unfortunately, those who’ve gotten a peek say not only is the film nowhere near as exciting as a thriller, but Tommy’s performance elicits uncomfortable and inappropriate laughs. We saw this coming a MILE away. Tom cannot separate his off-screen, couch-jumping, Xenu believing self from ANY character he plays, unless he’s in a really good disguise.
Some of the odd moments in “Valkyrie” come when Cruiseâ€™s character, Claus Von Stauffenberg, is forced to give a â€œHeil Hitlerâ€ salute. A source tells The Scoop that
â€œItâ€™s an unsettling scene but you almost start to laugh. His character is resisting it but you never forget itâ€™s Tom Cruise saying â€˜Heil Hitler.â€™ Itâ€™s funny and shocking at the same time.â€
Another described a scene where Cruiseâ€™s character removes a false eye.
â€œIt was disgusting,â€ said another who saw the film. â€œIt was like watching someone pluck their contacts out. The film just isnâ€™t a thriller at all. Itâ€™s a bunch of white guys in Nazi uniforms. Itâ€™s too bad. And Tom doesnâ€™t speak with a German accent, though they did add a voice-over of him speaking German to the beginning of the film. Still, itâ€™s as if he could say â€˜I complete youâ€™ at any time. This is not his Oscar moment.”
Snarkista’s having a hard time believing ANY “Oscar moments” are in store for Tommy. He’s become the face of Scientology, has turned his wife Katie Holmes into a robot, and is constantly trying to control every aspect of his family’s life. Don’t despair, Tom. Surely Scientology has SOME kind of equivalent. Oh yeah, they already gave it to you!