Tom Cruise Gives Katie Holmes Hallucinogens For Her Birthday

Tom Cruise has been on a tour lately to try and convince us he’s normal. Guess what? Nice try, but EPIC FAIL. Tommy-Girl has been alluding for weeks that his birthday present for wife Katie Holmes was going to be really special. Oh, it’s special alright. Katie better haul ass.

Tom revealed his present to robot devoted Katie today… a Salvia divinorum mint plant in full blossom! Ah, mint, you say. Great for cooking! Tommy will be making some “special tea” for Katie soon. He found a small specimen of the plant, known as “the Sage of the Seers,” in an East Village WITCHCRAFT store. The plant is indigenous to Mexico and was and is used by shamans of the Mazatec Indians for its ability to create visions and hallucinations. Just what every woman dreams of! VIVIDLY.

Look for Katie to commit more “crimes against fashion” soon, yet in a much more colorful way. Happy Birthday, “Kate”!

One thought on “Tom Cruise Gives Katie Holmes Hallucinogens For Her Birthday”

  1. You mentioned the December 18 birthday girl in your post. Unscramble letters for her name: [Make Hostile] Click on my name to play today’s TV anagram game.

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