Wino’s Locked Up. Sortof.

Amy Winehouse fled her home yesterday after being placed under “house arrest” in an attempt to keep her away from the drugs. Good luck with that!

The cracked-up singer who just returned from her boxing match at Glastonbury, is being monitored round-the-clock. She even has a security guard stationed outside her home! That mother better be effin’ strong, ‘cuz when Amy’s flying high, she has SUPERPOWERS! Like Hancock!

The rent-a-cop didn’t do his job very well, because Amy managed to sprint out of the house and into a waiting car of her female friends, only to later be dragged home by her dad Mitch. According to onlookers, the car sped off for a 20-minute drive, only for Amy to jump out of the moving vehicle in Camden, North London, hurl abuse at her pals and run into the nearest pub. Mitch soon arrived to take her home.

Before the escape happened, Amy was reportedly heard screaming to be let out. An onlooker told Britain’s Daily Express newspaper:

“Amy could be heard pleading to be allowed out for some fresh air, only to be told to stick her head out of the back window. Anyone who rang her doorbell had to be given approval by the man on the door. He left after a few hours, only for another big guy to take his place.”

Record company bosses have made the decision to keep Amy in her home to keep her away from “undesirables”. Record company bosses need to wise up fast and realize the only thing that’s gonna keep Amy in place is a straitjacket. For real. Wino’s pissed that Prince William intercepted her stash order, and she’s got to come up with some more party favors for Blaaaake’s jail release bash! Mitch better get her into the padded room before Blaaaake gets sprung, because all hell’s gonna break loose when THAT happens. Rehab. A real one. With locks.