Was Nicollette Sheridan Axed From Desperate Housewives?

Sunday’s “Desperate Housewives” ended with all of the ladies of Wisteria Lane confronting Edie, Nicollette Sheridan’s character, telling her they would no longer have anything to do with her, and walking away. We all issued a collective HMMM- could the widespread talk of her exit from the show be true?

We didn’t have to wait long to hear. Yesterday, reports circulated that show creator Mark Cherry disclosed that Nicollette’s character would not be coming back “for a long, long time”. Rumors of cast feuds have grown more frequent, and the show is rumored to end in 2011. Cherry wouldn’t confirm THAT rumor.

Dana Delaney’s character Katherine has been giving evil Edie a run for her money in the she-devil category, and Nicollette’s feuds with the other cast members are well-known. Sheridan’s been shaking the chatter off, saying she’ll be on the show forever, and will be the last star left on the show! No ego here Dr. Freud!

Nicollette has also been battling her image-bashing by her ex-boyfriend Niklas Soderblom’s pending tell-all book. Soderblom was jilted when Sheridan shacked up with Michael Bolton, and his book purports to expose their horrid relationship and juicy details of her fights with the other Housewives!

“Not A Desperate Houseman” portray’s Sheridan as a bitchy, frigid, self-centered, middle aged celebrity who sees the show as her last chance to hang on to stardom. Apparantly Edie’s famed sex drive is for the cameras only, as Soderblom claims Nicollette couldn’t be more disinterested- and uses sex only to get what she wants.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Sheridan doesn’t have to stretch much to portray Edie!Cherry’s comments will only add fuel to the Housewives fire. Yikes! Cast and crew have probably beefed up their personal security cuz they’ve seen that bitch in action. Hide the good china!

Holly Madi$on Can’t Hook Hef

It’s beginning to dawn on Holly Madison, lead girlbunny in Hugh Hefner’s intimate foursome, that Hef is probably not going to buy the cow and marry her. Not that the milk is free, mind you, as I’m sure Mr. Bathrobe pays quite a bit for the upkeep of his stable. No, despite Holly’s yearnings to tie the knot, Hef’s just not the marrying kind. Or tactful about it.

Hef yammered on to the press at last week’s “Playmate of the Year” luncheon that:

“I love Holly very much and I think we’re going to be together the rest of my life, but marriage isn’t part of my puzzle. It’s not a personal thing; I just haven’t had much luck with marriages.”

Yeah. It’s not personal, Holly! At ALL! Maybe you should ditch the ancient fugger while you’re still under 30! It’s not like you couldn’t attract anyone else. Ah, but the mansion life. So tempting to hope that at least when Hef kicks it, he’ll leave you your bedroom and maid service! Your fellow “Girls Next Door” blondies Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson seem to be less brainwashed, and have marriage and motherhood goals (sans Hef). Maybe they’ll take off and Hugh will change his mind! You’d have him all to yourself then, er- whenever the mansion isn’t partying 24-7. Sigh. Girl, he’s just not THAT into you.

Madonna Is Over The Effin’ Hill

Over the weekend, Queen Madge blew onto British live TV and caused a big freakout all OVER the place. Dropped the F- bomb 4 times! In Need of Excedrin for Migraines: The BBC, BBCHD, BBC3, Radio 1, along with the other artists on the bill of “Radio 1’s Big Weekend” music event. Classy. The hosts and Radio One had to issue quick apologies to those who may have been offended.

It all appeared a bit desperate for Madonna; she was working a whip while delivering her “effin” tirade. Kinda uncool because she’s like, 50. And, she was preaching to “F* the present and live in the past!” Like when Madonna WASN’T 50-ISH. I bet Lourdes is pretty mortified. Her mom STILL trying to shock people and “remain relevant” is probably not a real thrill for the brow-endowed tween.

Reviews of Madge’s 20 minute set are tepid to harsh. Apparently, she was a big pain prior to the show as well, demanding not only all the backstage Kaballah krap and flowers you’d expect, but also a helicopter to ferry her from her home to the show, a whopping 38 miles. Gak.

What Now For David Archuleta?

Now that David Archuleta’s dad Jeff has been banned from rehearsals and all other things backstage at American Idol, will Archie be lost without his stage-daddy’s controling hand? Jeff got the boot for interfering with just about everything on the show, but the last straw was him hypnotizing David into disobeying the Idol brass. Jeff had been told by the powers that be not to change any lyrics in “Stand By Me” which ‘lil Dave performed this Tuesday. Change was what Jeff wanted, however, and change was what Archie sang. It’s obvious that producer Nigel is NOT where the buck stops in David’s mind. “Daddy Dearest” rules over all. Or did.

This Tuesday, the three remaining Idols will be singing three different songs. They’ll have to change them up enough to keep the voters’ interest, and the judges praise. David Cook should have no problems with this task, his Cooking is becoming Idol legend. Syesha Mercado can also be versatile, as long as she doesn’t go wall-to-wall diva, she should be able to sufficiently impress. Archie’s dad Jeff has been his svengali puppet-master so far, choosing songs and arrangements for him. Will he be adrift without his dad’s help? Remember, this dog and pony show’s been going on for a LONG time (Jeff was booted from “Star Search” too). We want to know if you think Archie will be able to execute three different types of performances this week. Vote below and give us your opinion!

Rapper DMX Has Meltdown: Drug, Animal Cruelty And Speeding Charges Filed

90’s Rapper DMX, age 37, was arrested in Cave Creek, Arizona yesterday. He barricaded himself in his house when the Maricopa County sheriff tried to arrest him on drug and animal cruelty charges. DMX knows that Maricopa County is celebrity sheriff Joe Arpaio’s territory- he’s the law that puts his male prisoners in pink! The “toughest sheriff in America” houses his inmates in tents- and is not a believer in cable TV for his prisoners.

This is the second raid by officials concerning animal cruelty; in August 12 pit bulls and pit bull mix dogs were taken from the rapper’s home. No arrest happened at the time, but the circumstances were quite unsavory, and the raid occurred the same week that Michael Vick pled guilty for financing a dog fighting ring.

Animal control took 5 pit bull mix puppies yesterday, and finally served a search warrant on DMX at 3 a.m. Officers found drugs and weapons during the search, resulting in four felony drug possession charges and seven misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. Deputies were also serving a search warrant at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona, involving possible fraud by the rapper.

On Wednesday, DMX was clocked going 114 mph, was arrested and charged with racing on a highway, reckless driving, 2 counts of endangerment and 3 counts of criminal speed while driving on a suspended license. Dude had barely gotten home when the cops came calling again Friday!

I bet Sheriff Joe can’t WAIT to get his hands on this character- he’ll have him lookin’ like Barbie in no time. DMX may be Joe’s guest in the tents for awhile. Kind of like a doghouse.

Crimes Against Fashion: ScarJo Edition


An obviously pissed off stylist at “Paste” magazine got a hold of Scarlett Johansson and convinced her that THIS was a good look for her. Somebody’s been reading too many old 80’s hairstyle ‘zines. “Paste” must have a clause in their employment contracts that requires the USE of paste for cover stylists. There’s enough paste up in ScarJo’s hair to supply a whole kindergarten class!