Snark Sightings

Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Is Obsessed: Idolator

Andy Dick’s Pervy Mugshot is #1! Gravy And Biscuits

Jennifer Aniston Has Twins Too! House Of Babes

Pete Wentz Is A Seamstress: ONTD

Matthew Broderick Could NOT Take It Anymore: 7 Confessions

Stephen Colbert And The Rest Of The Emmy Nominees: No Fact Zone

Lindsay & SamRo Keep Up The PDA: Socialite Life

Jennifer Aniston: Superglue

Holy CRAP– Jennifer Aniston is one paranoid stalker. Her latest love John Mayer was playing his “Hard Rock Calling” gig in London’s Hyde Park last week. Jen saw z-lister Kimberly Stewart (Rod’s daughter) hanging out backstage (Kim’s main profession). Kim’s been rockin’ a new nose job, and looks MUCH better than she used to. Not that she’s a fox. Still, Flypaper Aniston went into freak mode.

According to the Mirror, Aniston ordered Kim BANNED from the backstage area – and Kim refused to listen! An insider tells The Mirror:

John clearly has a bit of history with the model, all hell broke loose when clingy Jen spotted 28-year-old Kim backstage while John was warming up. Ever the gent, John tried to defuse the situation by getting his security to boot out Kim. And as the bouncers chased after Kim, Jen, 39, eyeballed her rival to warn her off John.Jennifer spotted Kimberly and asked John what she was doing there. John and Kim know each other from clubbing in LA, but Jennifer doesn’t want anyone around who reminds her that he used to be a player. But Kim wasn’t giving up without a fight… Ten minutes after being told to leave, she was on the side of the stage, waving at John and cheekily catching Jennifer’s eye while she was taking photos of her fella. She had been told twice by security that she would be removed but she stood there bold as brass. Jennifer was on the opposite side of the stage and John felt like piggy-in-the-middle. He saw the tension and told his bouncers to get rid of her at all costs. Kim was pulled off the stage and escorted through the Hard Rock VIP tent with a face like thunder, shouting: ‘Why doesn’t he want me here? Is this because of her?’ She totally embarrassed herself, but Jen looked relieved.

Ha! John masquerades as a gent, but he’s a playah, and rumored to be quite the kinkster as well! Jen’s got a full-time job on her hands and she knows it. Snarkista thinks this one’s doomed, no matter how “in love” the two seem. Jen better hurry up with the knockin’ up, cuz John goes through women like BUTTAH!

Snark Sightings

Stalker Aniston To Be-Friend The Big Screen? Jossip

Spencer Pratt Milking Mary Kate HARD: Fatback Media

Rikki Rockett Gets Off: Bumpshack

Chris Brown’s Naughty Bits Are Tired: BringinDaNoize

Tila Tequila Is DENIED! Mollygood

Hottest New Fashion Out Of Texas: Fldsdress

Steve-O…Still A Lawsuit Magnet: ICYDK

No Pajiba Love For Hancock: Pajiba

A-Rod gets DUMPED! Sportsfiends

John, Jen and Jilted Jessica

Let’s hope Tony Romo has better timing calling plays on the field than he did calling OFF his relationship with Jessica Simpson! Tony picked the same weekend that Jess’s ex John Mayer and Jennifer Anniston decided to go public with their romance at Jennifer’s Marley and Me cast party. Perfect!

Tony humiliated Jess while partying in Chicago with his buds, and signaled their romance was busted. He put her on speaker phone and let her make a fool of herself for all to hear. After John, Jen and Tony- Jessica decided she’d start drinking too.

Poor Jess got plastered, according to US magazine, after a 4-hour binge at L.A.’s Mexicali Cocina Cantina. She was drowning her sorrows with best bud Cacee Cobb and her man Donald Faison, and got so drunk she had to call mom to pick her up. Cacee was so conked she barfed under the table! Oy. Not a great week to be Jessica. We’ll see if her reported “hex” powers work from afar when football season starts again in August!