Madonna Is Over The Effin’ Hill

Over the weekend, Queen Madge blew onto British live TV and caused a big freakout all OVER the place. Dropped the F- bomb 4 times! In Need of Excedrin for Migraines: The BBC, BBCHD, BBC3, Radio 1, along with the other artists on the bill of “Radio 1’s Big Weekend” music event. Classy. The hosts and Radio One had to issue quick apologies to those who may have been offended.

It all appeared a bit desperate for Madonna; she was working a whip while delivering her “effin” tirade. Kinda uncool because she’s like, 50. And, she was preaching to “F* the present and live in the past!” Like when Madonna WASN’T 50-ISH. I bet Lourdes is pretty mortified. Her mom STILL trying to shock people and “remain relevant” is probably not a real thrill for the brow-endowed tween.

Reviews of Madge’s 20 minute set are tepid to harsh. Apparently, she was a big pain prior to the show as well, demanding not only all the backstage Kaballah krap and flowers you’d expect, but also a helicopter to ferry her from her home to the show, a whopping 38 miles. Gak.

What Now For David Archuleta?

Now that David Archuleta’s dad Jeff has been banned from rehearsals and all other things backstage at American Idol, will Archie be lost without his stage-daddy’s controling hand? Jeff got the boot for interfering with just about everything on the show, but the last straw was him hypnotizing David into disobeying the Idol brass. Jeff had been told by the powers that be not to change any lyrics in “Stand By Me” which ‘lil Dave performed this Tuesday. Change was what Jeff wanted, however, and change was what Archie sang. It’s obvious that producer Nigel is NOT where the buck stops in David’s mind. “Daddy Dearest” rules over all. Or did.

This Tuesday, the three remaining Idols will be singing three different songs. They’ll have to change them up enough to keep the voters’ interest, and the judges praise. David Cook should have no problems with this task, his Cooking is becoming Idol legend. Syesha Mercado can also be versatile, as long as she doesn’t go wall-to-wall diva, she should be able to sufficiently impress. Archie’s dad Jeff has been his svengali puppet-master so far, choosing songs and arrangements for him. Will he be adrift without his dad’s help? Remember, this dog and pony show’s been going on for a LONG time (Jeff was booted from “Star Search” too). We want to know if you think Archie will be able to execute three different types of performances this week. Vote below and give us your opinion!

Rapper DMX Has Meltdown: Drug, Animal Cruelty And Speeding Charges Filed

90’s Rapper DMX, age 37, was arrested in Cave Creek, Arizona yesterday. He barricaded himself in his house when the Maricopa County sheriff tried to arrest him on drug and animal cruelty charges. DMX knows that Maricopa County is celebrity sheriff Joe Arpaio’s territory- he’s the law that puts his male prisoners in pink! The “toughest sheriff in America” houses his inmates in tents- and is not a believer in cable TV for his prisoners.

This is the second raid by officials concerning animal cruelty; in August 12 pit bulls and pit bull mix dogs were taken from the rapper’s home. No arrest happened at the time, but the circumstances were quite unsavory, and the raid occurred the same week that Michael Vick pled guilty for financing a dog fighting ring.

Animal control took 5 pit bull mix puppies yesterday, and finally served a search warrant on DMX at 3 a.m. Officers found drugs and weapons during the search, resulting in four felony drug possession charges and seven misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. Deputies were also serving a search warrant at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona, involving possible fraud by the rapper.

On Wednesday, DMX was clocked going 114 mph, was arrested and charged with racing on a highway, reckless driving, 2 counts of endangerment and 3 counts of criminal speed while driving on a suspended license. Dude had barely gotten home when the cops came calling again Friday!

I bet Sheriff Joe can’t WAIT to get his hands on this character- he’ll have him lookin’ like Barbie in no time. DMX may be Joe’s guest in the tents for awhile. Kind of like a doghouse.