tiger woods masters – Snark Food

New Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Airs as Masters Leaderboard Starts Ticking

Does anyone else find Tiger Woods‘ new Nike commercial exceedingly creepy?Â In the new Tiger Woods commercial, the golf icon just stands there – staring – while the voice of his dead father, Earl Woods, plays over him. It’s like the intro to a bad horror movie. We’re really not sure if this Nike commercial was the best lead in for Tiger Woods return to golf as the Masters leaderboard in Augusta starts ticking.

Thankfully, we know we aren’t crazy because plenty of other folks out there apparently think the commercial is a serious fail too. Other viewers of the Tiger Woods commercial have called it “bizarre,” “strange” and – like us – “creepy.” Not exactly the kind of image one wants to associate with a brand name like Nike.

Weird commercials aside, the biggest Tiger Woods news right now is his appearance at the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta. For those who simply must get a taste of the Tiger on live TV, check out the schedule below for Woods viewing opportunities (Eastern time).

Thursday, April 8
4:00 PM – 7:30 PM – ESPN
8:00 PM – 11:00 PM – ESPN

Friday, April 9

4:00 PM – 7:30 PM – ESPN
8:00 PM – 11:00 PM – ESPN

Saturday, April 10

3:30 PM – 7:00 PM – CBS

Sunday, April 11

2:00 PM – 7:00 PM – CBS

You can also check out Masters Live coverage at www.masters.com.

>> Previously:Â Tiger Woods Latest Alleged Mistress is 21-Year-Old Neighbor Raychel Coudriet

Tiger Woods Latest Alleged Mistress is 21-Year-Old Neighbor Raychel Coudriet

Tiger Woods‘ alleged mistress list just keeps on growing. The latest addition to the count comes courtesy of the National Enquirer, which claims Tiger Woods had an affair with 21-year-old neighbor Raychel Coudriet. Coudriet, now 22, was reportedly furious when she learned about Woods’ many alleged affairs with other women.

Tiger Woods (Photo: Tim Hipps, U.S. Army)

The latest cheating allegation is especially disturbing because Tiger Woods has allegedly known Raychel Coudriet since she was 14. Coudriet reportedly lives near the golfer’s home near Orlando. The National Enquirer claims Woods and Coudriet made out in sight of his house and had sex in his office.

Raychel Coudriet was reportedly enraged when she found out she was only one of dozens of women Tiger Woods allegedly slept with. “I felt used and violated, like I meant nothing to him but a night of casual sex,” Coudriet said, a source reportedly told the Enquirer. “I just wanted to dig a big hole, crawl in and die.”

Proof of this latest Tiger Woods affair may come in the form of even more racy text messages between the golf legend and his new alleged mistress. Much like the text messages Woods sent former porn star Joslyn James, the ones sent to Coudriet are reportedly graphic and extremely sexual in nature.

Tiger Woods may go forth and conquer the Masters Tournament, but nothing will ever win him our respect in any way ever again. If this latest affair rumor is true and Elin Nordegren still doesn’t dump Tiger Woods to the curb pronto, we just don’t know what the hell is wrong with her.

>> Previously:Â Tiger Woods Press Conference Fails to Impress Alleged Mistress

Tiger Woods Mistress Rachel Uchitel $10 Million Payout?

Did Tiger Woods alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel really receive a $10 million payout to keep her mouth shut about her affair with the golf legend? If the rumor is true,Â we seriously hopeÂ Elin Nordegren is reconsidering those divorce papers right about now.

Rachel Uchitel, the first of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses to be named in the press, reportedly agreed to a $10 million deal to hold her silence about her sexual escapades with the golfer. According to TMZ.com, Utichel signed an “ironclad confidentiality agreement” in exchange for the huge monetary settlement.

While we find it a bit much to believe Tiger Woods would shell out $10 million to an ex-mistress, it’s not like he doesn’t have the money to spare. If Utichel did get anything close to that amount of money from Woods, she’s definitely going to make the other ladies jealous. Several of Woods’ other alleged mistresses reportedly received only a few hundred thousand dollars to purchase their silence. Others got nothing at all and had to earn their fees from the tabloids.

We’re just dying to hear what exactly Rachel Utichel knows about Tiger Woods’ bedroom life that is worth $10 million in cold, hard cash?

>> Previously:Â Porn Star Devon James is Tiger Woods Newest Alleged Mistress

Tiger Woods Practices for Masters at Augusta National

The day after his much-publicized and rather disappointing interviews with ESPN and the Golf Channel, Tiger Woods was spotted practicing his golf swing at the Augusta National Golf Club on Monday. Woods will officially be returning to the game for the Masters Tournament at August National, which runs from April 8 to 11.

Tiger Woods (Photo: Mono P - Source: Wikimedia Commons)

According to Golf Digest, Tiger Woods played 36 holes on Monday and is working hard on getting back in top shape for the Masters. Reuters reports two of Woods’ practice partners say the golf legend is back in “vintage” form. “I’d be hard pressed to see anyone beat him,” multiple PGA tour winner John Cook told the news agency.

It remains to be seen whether Elin Nordegren will attend the Masters, as she has in the past, to support her embattled husband. During his interviews with ESPN and the Golf Channel, Nordegren holed up on the couple’s luxury yacht with their children to avoid the media frenzy.

While Tiger Woods admitted his affairs with various mistresses was “disgusting behavior,” the golfer is apparently still hoping his fans will be behind him as he returns to the game. “It would be nice to hear a couple claps here and there,” Woods told ESPN.

If Woods is lucky, maybe those “couple claps” will drown out the boos and hisses from the folks out there who would rather he go find a nice, deserted island to practice his swing on, rather than sullying the Masters with his smug, cheating, “entitled” face. Because all we’re going to be thinking about while he lines up his balls is those gross and repulsive text messages he allegedly sent ex-mistress Joslyn James. Eewwwwww.

>> Previously:Â Â Alleged Tiger Woods Mistress Joslyn James Releases X-Rated Text Messages

Tiger Woods Masters Return Announced

Tiger Woods announced Tuesday he will be returning to golf next month to play the Masters Tournament at the Augusta National Golf Club. Woods said he feels like he is finally ready to return to the game that made him a household name, but he still has issues in his personal life to deal with.

“The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect,” Woods said in a press statement. “After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I’m ready to start my season at Augusta.”

The announcement finally ends weeks of speculation about when and where Tiger Woods will return to the golf course competitively. It comes as little surprise that Woods would choose the Masters Tournament as his first foray back into the game. “The major championships have always been a special focus in my career and, as a professional, I think August is where I need to be,” Woods said, “even though it’s been a while since I last played.”

Woods said that he has undergone nearly two months of inpatient therapy to deal with his sexual addiction and other issues and he will be continuing to receive treatment. “Although I’m returning to competition, I still have a lot of work to do in my personal life,” Woods said.

“When I finally got into a position to think about competitive golf again, it became apparent to me that the Masters would be the earliest I could play. I called both Joe Lewis and Arnold Palmer and expressed my regrets for not attending the Tavistock Cup and the Arnold Palmer Invitational,” Woods said.Â “I again want to thank them both for their support and their understanding. Those are fantastic tournaments and I look forward to competing in them again.”

We’re betting this could turn out to be the highest rated Masters Tournament in history. Hell, we might even watch it – and we can’t stand watching golf on TV – just to see the insanity of the media frenzy in action.

>> Previosuly:Â Tiger Woods Returning to Golf in Two Weeks?

Tiger Woods Out of Rehab and Back to Golfing

Tiger Woods is reportedly back at home after a long stint at a sexual addiction rehab clinic and warming up for a return to the sport that made him a household name. The beleaguered golfer was spotted whacking balls at the Isleworth golf range near his Orlando home over the weekend.

Tiger Woods has not yet announced when exactly he’ll be returning to the game, but sports analysts anticipate he will likely rejoin the PGA tour soon. “I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don’t know when that day will be,” Woods said during his ‘apology’ speech at a press conference on Feb. 19. “I don’t rule out that it will be this year.”

Some speculate Woods may attend the Arnold Palmer Invitational and it’s a good bet that if he does plan on golfing again this year, he’ll at least play in The Masters. Woods hasn’t missed a Masters since 1995.

Personally, we think it would be good for Tiger Woods to get back to golfing as soon as possible. Sure, they’ll be another round of media insanity the minute he returns to the game, but why not go ahead and get it over with?

Sports fans have shown their loyalty to their favorite players under far more scandalous circumstances. And once the fans get back on board with Woods, so will the sponsors – no matter how many mistresses keep selling their stories to the tabloids.

>> Previously:Â Tiger Woods Press Conference Apology Anticlimactic